R2 VLCD #26 - I TAKE IT BACK

The end! I didn't take an injection this morning. Last night after I got home from a relaxing Our Economy Blows Happy Hour with H (read: a bottle of wine bought at the store instead of drinks out) I had to make a cake. For H's bridal shower that I am throwing next weekend.

No no no I didn't make the cake this far in advance... I had to do a trial because I am making a

 special cake! NO not that kind of special. C'mon people, can't you read my mind? A rainbow cake!! So I made it for Snack Friday (which you SHOULD know what that is if you have been keeping up). It will look much prettier than this,

 it will be 2 layers and iced diff

erently and such, I was just seeing if I could achieve the tie-dye effect! (for the record, I did not eat any of the finished cake)

So I made the cake... and I licked the batter bowl... all 5 of them needed for the different colors. And plenty of frosting. I gained a pound today. And my stomach is PROTESTING. My intestines feel all weird and I'm all gurgley. That's what I get! I'm sure it'll come off soon enough, if this P3 is anything like my last P3. It was pretty darn easy. I know they are not all the same, but I work out so much that I think that helps a lot.

I'm just done. I tried to fight it, but I have no mental willpower left. I was starting to sabotage myself. As much as I hate to go back on my decision yesterday and say "no, I actually can't go further" I don't want to ruin what I have worked so hard for already. 

So I will just leave the syringes in the freezer until I decide if I am going to do another or I'm done forever and toss them out. Right now I am up in the air. I wanted to end up lower, but I may very well just be able to do that myself with the insane exercise regimen that I will be partaking in now that I am not going to be taking in the same amount of daily calories as a small cat. We shall see.

I feel good about what I have done so far. I really do like myself now, which is more than I ever imagined I would get out of this! I am ready for P3. SO READY. 

So... here I go!

Yesterday's exercise:

Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda

100g beef

A chunk of cucumber

1 yellow apple

1.5 glasses of Pinot Noir

Some sliced ham (that's all they had)

Cake batter and frosting, in "a lick here and there really adds up" amounts

Weight tracking:

+1lb today

-19.5lbs overall

+1lb over LIW (122.5)

Embarking On Another P3 Expedition,

M

R2 VLCD #25 - Say You'll Never Let Go, Jack, Never Let Go

Last night... I almost gave up.

Actually, I DID give up. I was done! Fin! Over! You coulda stuck a fork all the way THROUGH me I was so done. I decided that this morning I was not going to take a shot, and just start my transition into P3. I was feeling WEAK! I had had it. I wanted "real" food. I wanted to lift weights again. I wanted a "normal" life back!

SO weak, that I had several FINGERS-FUL of FROSTING. Yes FROSTING! You read that correctly. Not peanut butter, not cream cheese, not Walden Farms no-cal caramel dip.... FROSTING.

And a bite of S's dinner, which definitely included carbs. And maybe 15 or so cashews. 

This morning, I realized I was wrong. I woke up and didn't want to stop hCG. I felt renewed. I didn't feel too guilty about my little deviation (I think I actually needed some sugar) and I definitely didn't want to stop! 

So I didn't! I TOOK that shot. STRAPPED on my running shoes. And CONQUERED my weakness. 

And ya know what? That little bit of sugar sure made my run this morning pleasant. I didn't feel weak at all. And today still I feel great. 

I have actually been contemplating something that'd probably be pretty controversial. Not contemplating DOING it per say since I'm about done, but thinking it may be helpful, for some people. 

Perhaps during the protocol, after a few weeks of your VLCD, you need to take a day, have a small meal with something carb-y or sugar-y (not a lot - mind you - but enough to rejuvenate you a bit). Your brain has a hard time running off ketones all the time says S, so after a while it gets TIRED OF THIS and you crave, mentally and physically, sugars and carbs. Then the next day, take the gain or stall if you have one, into stride, and carry on. This may help people. I sure feel a helluva lot better today, where last night I was DONE. And I still lost a half of a pound! Granted - I think it would have been more had I not deviated, but I'm ok with it. I feel that I could go for another week. Or longer (I'm not though). I definitely retained some water from that frosting... I was SO THIRSTY for the rest of the night after eating it. SOOOO thirsty!

Now I'm not going to go out and tell people to do this, it's just a thought. And I think some would have a hard time sticking to just a little bit, or not doing it over and over again. 

Well there ya have it. Now here I go, journeying into the end of my round, full force and ready to TAKE IT ON!

Yesterday's exercise:

Ran almost 3 miles (smooth move interruption!)

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda

100g chicken

A chunk of cucumber

1 green apple

100g beef

15 or so cashews

Several fingers-ful of frosting

A glass of pinot noir

A bite of S's dinner

Weight tracking:

-.5lb today

-10lbs this roun

-20.5lbs overall

EMPOWERED,

M

R2 VLCD #24 - A "Moving" Experience

Well I lost that .5lb today, just like you guys said I would! Wheee!! Tomorrow I am expecting more loss... in the Smooth Move category. I hadn't had a BM in like a week and a half or something, so I had some unfair buildup. I'm not taking magnesium or anything, so I haven't really been helping myself in that category. But I like my Smooth Move! And I never gain anything after I take it, so I feel like my losses are somewhat legit. In a normal eating situation I'd not have this much crap (literally) inside of me!

Soooooo I took some around 3pm yesterday, hoping I'd wake up in the middle of the night, have a (in my experience, Not So) Smooth Move, and go back to bed. Well this wasn't the case. I felt a little rumbly before bed so I thought I was on the right track, but when I woke up for our run, still nothing. 

I debated not running, but I consulted S and he just said "well just get as far as you can, and if you feel things start to move, then just head back". Logical, yes. I think my brain was just crying "SLEEEEEP! GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO SLEEP MORE!" So I went. 

I got almost all the way to the gym, when I felt those oh so familiar feelings when you know things are a-stirrin'. I walked for a moment, thought I was ok. So we ran again. NOPE! Time to go back! So I kissed S goodbye and turned around and started running home. I got about 1/2 mile more before I HAD to stop and walk. Srsly, I was about to run it right out of me!!

The rest of the journey home was... uncomfortable at BEST. I may have had a really close call. I am sure you all wanted to know this, but it's humorous. HUMOROUS, PEOPLE! Seeing my house come into view was almost a religious experience. The garage door opened on my first try. The world was working in my favor (and it had BETTER, after that little .5lb incident yesterday!)

So I feel light as a feather now! And hopefully tomorrow I'll be below this 123 that seems to like hanging around. Till then...

Yesterday's exercise:

Ran/walked 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda

100g ground beef

100g chicken

A chunk of cucumber

1 small apple

Like 8 peanuts (OOOHHH SNAP!)

Weight tracking:

-.5lb today

-9.5 this round

-20lbs overall

Your Neighborhood Little Shit,

M

R2 VLCD #23 - Damn You, Universe, Damn You.

The universe is playing tricks on me again. Remember when I got to my 10lb loss goal? And the very next day I gained .5lb? Well guess what? Remember how I got to my 20lb loss goal yesterday? Guess what happened today?! Yeah!? I'll even give you a minute.

...

...

...

YEP! I gained .5lb today! So every time I have a little happy-celebration-time, the Universe is all, "LOL JK! HAHHA ROFL 2 BAD 4U!" and I'm all, "f u".

Garsh darnit. I mean I know that it's NOTHING. It's ALWAYS NOTHING. hCG IS THE SWEET SWEET NECTARS OF THE GODS AND CAN DO NO WRONG, I KNOW. But it sure is frustrating seeing that delicious number go away. Victory was MINE! Now victory will have to be MINE TOMORROW. If I'm lucky. 

I was even contemplating not going for the extra week because I thought I'd reach my 120 goal by the end of this one, but now I don't know. I just doooon't know. 

And now for the "weight-gain-justification" portion of todays program:

1. Ate the damn salsa again last night. Too much salt? Perhaps!

2. Ate like 5.0163 cashews last night. Yes, that's 5 and a tiny chunk. 

3. The gawddamn Universe is out to get me. 

4. I have completely lost all ability to lose weight and I may as well just gorge myself on cake and Haagen Dazs because all is lost. 

Guess which one my brain is telling me it is?!?!? Ha! Fooled you! Not number 4! And that in itself is a victory, because a few months ago before I embarked on this madness, I would have concluded that (really just an excuse to eat poorly again. But now I know that. And knowing, is half the battle).

Tomorrow will be better, I know. I can feel the scale's nasty, cold fingers releasing its slimy grip on my cerebral cortex though, which is huge progress for me. A year ago, my whole day would have been ruined, instead of giving me just enough fuel to write a melodramatic blog posting :]

Yesterday's exercise:

Ran 3 miles outside

Walked 20 min with S and the pups

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda

100g chicken

A chunk of cucumber

1 small apple

100g ground beef

A few sips of pinot noir

5 or 6 cashews

Weight tracking:

+.5lb today

-9lbs this round

-19.5lbs overall DAMN YOU!!!

Me, Being Me, 

M

Amie - we can do it! I am determined to lose that 5lbs on my own. Unless I can't (harhar)

Applebottomblues - You, me and Amie, girl... we can do the 5lbs on our own! We totally can! 

Biz - Thank you fairyhCGmother!!

Dawn - Thank you! Although you should take it back since I gained today. Dammit! I am unworthy of your praise

R2 VLCD Day #22 - I'm Walkin' On Sunshine...

... and does it feel GOOD!

As of this morning, I have OFFICIALLY LOST TWENTY POUNDS WITH hCG! Do you know how EXCITING this is? I have been counting down to this day (well - as well as I can with the erratic weight loss per day that this programme entails) for a while now. omg. Omg. OMG! 

So I just want to lost 3 more, which will put me at a solid 120. My FINAL goal is 115 but if I don't get there by the end of this round, I am going to try to do those last 5 pounds with normal exercise. I still have another vial, but I want to try on my own. I think I can do it on my own :]. hCG gave me the jump-start that I needed to bust full force into my new healthy lifestyle. I'm SECONDS away from being exactly where I want to be. I feel pretty damn good. DAMN good. 

This weekend went really well. The only things that I had that wasn't exactly on protocol was wine, and I already know that doesn't hinder my progress. 

I went out to a club night on Friday, in a scene that I used to frequent that I don't so much any more. EVERYONE was there and was gushing over how good I looked. And it happened again today when I came into work.

In other news, I am giving you another photo because I am feeling vain (that's appropriate for a while after you've lost 20lbs, isn't it?).

LIFE IS GOOD!

Yesterday's exercise:

Nothing

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda

100g chicken

1 small apple

100g ground beef

1/2 a glass of pinot noir

1 malt ball (tee hee hee)

Weight tracking:

-.5lb today

-9.5lbs this round

-20lbs overall

happy HAPPY happy,

M

For ALL the commenters - Thank you thank you thank you! You guys all make me feel so good about myself and successful and empowered. I don't know what I'd do without my support team *lovelovelove*

r2 VLCD Day #19 - Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of WINE

Ok so not a whole bottle, but 2.5 glasses.

Last night was great, I went and helped H with some wedding details (3 weeks! I'm so excited for her!) and went to a little impromptu girl's night. Wine was of course involved! The only problem is that for my second protein I had to eat sliced ham... it was like 9pm and I needed my second fruit, protein and veggie, and NOTHING P2 legal was in sight! So I improvised. Not too awful if I do say so.

So I didn't lose today but I had woken up an hour before I weighed and drank tons of water because I felt all dehydrated (thanks, wine). I thought about it while I was drinking it, that in an hour when I weighed I would probably not have lost, but it wasn't worth it to me to sleep that one more hour feeling like the sandman missed my eyes and instead dumped the Sahara into my mouth. Oh well. Not too upset about it. I'm sure I'll see a loss tomorrow.

Hey! Look at that! Not too upset! I am beginning to like myself enough that the numbers aren't mattering to me as much anymore. I like how I look and feel! Yay! :D

Though I couldn't run this morning. My legs just wouldn't do it. So I walked the 3 miles. That felt good! When I got home I ate a banana (bad, I know) but I was feeling woozy and there wasn't an apple in the house anywhere, nor any other simple sugars to raise my blood sugar level a little. Still, not too worried about it. I'll use that as my 2 fruits, of course! 

I'm noticing a difference in my face. I no longer have that little "half double chin" when I smile anymore. That was always one of my biggest woes. You couldn't tell from the front, it wasn't that big, but from the side there would be this little pooch behind my chin. I will demonstrate:

Taken somewhere around last September. Notice the little "lump" just behind where my chin stops:

And this was taken yesterday. Because I was feeling pretty. In the car. In traffic. No lump:

I feel prettyyyyyy... oh so pretttyyyyy... I feel prettty and witttttty and gaaaaaay!

So there you have it my friends. If you want some REAL before and after (well, during, just from the end of the last round) go to happilythinnerafter.com. I put BIKINI photos up there. Zomg. It's shameful. You don't have to look. I even don't recommend it, I cannot be held responsible for any emotional trauma that comes from seeing that. Kay?

Yesterday's exercise:

Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda

100g beef

Chunk of cucumber

2.5 glasses pinot noir

Some deli ham

Weight tracking:

-0lbs today

-7.5lbs this round

-18lbs overall

IT'S FRIDAY!,

M

Biz - you totally inspired me to exchange the dresses. So it's your doing that I got another! Thank you!

Mollie - Yaaaay!! Let's do this together sistah!

R2 VLCD Day #18 - It's A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood...

Down another pound! Woohoo! Although I have to admit - when I first stepped on the scale it was only .5lb. Then 20 minutes later it was 1. I WANTED it to be 1 because of the 0 loss yesterday. Neurotic much!? I hope that tomorrow I don't see a small or no loss, because of my wanting to have lost 1 today. Am I crazy? Probably. I don't deny that at all. 

What's even more important than weight loss - I feel MUCH better. I think my last batch was indeed losing potency. I'm no longer run down, my cramps from my IUD are a bit worse (something I noticed in the beginning of this round when I had freshly mixed it), I'm not as hungry, my run wasn't so bad, no more cravings, and of course I lost another pound. 

So to be sure this doesn't happen again, I have the majority of my pre-loaded syringes in the freezer, and I will get out small batches as I run out of them in the fridge. It's no fun to do 500 calories with dying hCG, and what's MORE, 500 calories and running 3 miles a day at 6am, with dying hCG. 

That's about all I have to report for today - oh - I returned those dresses that were too small, and ordered them in XS. AANNNNDDDD to my great pleasure, when I re-ordered, there was a sale of 20% off your whole order, so I got another cute little dress for free basically! YAAAAYYYY sometimes things just go your way :D Yes Biz I will still post pics when I get them!

TWO MORE POUNDS until I have lost 20!!! (in total with hCG, not just in this round :])

Yesterday's exercise:

Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda

100g chicken

Chunk of cucumber

1 small apple

100g of DELISH steak that S grilled up

1/2 a glass of pinot noir

Weight tracking:

-1lb today

-7.5lbs this round

-18lbs overall

Much Luuvvv,

M

R2 VLCD Day #17.5 - I GOT IT!!!!!!

MY SCALE IS APRIL FOOLS-ING ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oooh scale, you're such a silly bitch.

(I hope someone gets that Dane Cook reference, I'm not really that profane)

(ok so I am but I wouldn't have said that ;])

R2 VLCD Day #17 - Re-Up The Drugs

It's that time again. That dreaded time. That time where life gets hard, times get tough, and you can't call on Miller Time to help you out.

It's that time in P2 where the weight loss slows down. DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNNN!

As a loyal advocator of instant gratification, this is when protocol starts to get mentally trying. I'm losing. I'm not losing. I'm losing again. I'm fluctuating. I'M DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT GODDAMMIT!

I know it's normal but losing 1 pound a day is miiighty tasty. And when you get a taste of that mighty taste, you want MOOOOAAAAAR!!! 

I didn't lose anything today. There are a couple factors besides the normal ebbs and flows of le programme that could be contributing.

1. My hCG was at the end of the 5000i.u. vial. Could have been losing potency. I hadn't been feeling 100% the past two or so days (a bit hungry, tired), so this is probable.

2. Aunt Flo is (I think) here. I say "I think" because I got an IUD literally a few days before I started the round, and I have been spotting ever since (normal). It just got heavier and I'm crampy so I *think* she is here?

3. 126 - strange number, I know - could be kind of a "set point" for my body. I remembering hovering at this number for a loooooong time, even when I was trying to lose weight. 

4. My body lost enough weight last week that I am retaining water and will have a "woosh" soon.

The most probable cause is that it's "just that time again". Here I am grasping at straws to keep losing at an unreasonable rate. I know I am still losing, I just need to back The Crazy out of the "instant gratification" corner of my brain and into a synapse that involves slower, steady, progress.

Yesterday was my last shot of the old batch, so I mixed a new one up. I so conveniently didn't have any of the large mixing syringes left, so

I HAD TO USE ONE OF THE TINY ASS INJECTION ONES.

Do you know how much that sucks? Do you?? Well let me tell you. The tiny syringes are only .5mL. So if you need to add 6mL of air to something, you have to add TWELVE SYRINGES FULL. Needless to say, it took a while. But alas, I finished, CORRECTLY, I might add (this leaves a lot of room for error but I was quite meticulous) so now I have more liquid miracles to flood my belly button with. Enough for the last 11 days of this round + 7 more. I haven't decided if I am going to extend my round 7 days (I'm not sure if I have the stamina for that) or save them for another time, if I even need another time. I could just trash them in a month or so. They are frozen for now. 

I have a feeling that in 11 days I won't be terribly interested in going for another 7. We shall see. We shaaaall see.

Yesterday's exercise:

Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 of a grapefruit with Splenda

100g ground beef

Chunk of cucmber

1 small apple

100g of chicken

Weight tracking:

-0lbs today

-6.5lbs this round

-17lbs overall

My Crazy Is Showing,

M

Biz - Thank you thank you! Although today is another story :[

Applebottomblues - I just started doing a SERIOUS run in my last P3. I found I could eat basically whatever I wanted and maintain under my LIW. Now I'm not saying that this will be the same for everyone so don't go out and scarf cake and run a few miles and condemn me in the morning, but I found that it certainly gave me a LOT of leeway. That being said - I have ran a bit my whole life... it has never helped me lose, really, just maintain.