Wednesday, May 20, 2009

R3 VLCD #More - Macadamias Smell Like Wax

...and it sort of grosses me out. I really like them in, say, COOKIES, but I don't think that would have the same desired effect I'm striving for here. 


I lost a half pound today! It doesn't seem like much but I have been hovering around 119 for the last week. So here I am at 118.5, popping another round of macadamias in my mouth. They DO have a delightful sort of crunch... almost buttery in a way. So in my eyes - the macadamias tentatively worked. I'm going to try another few days and see how things go. SEE HOW I AM SACRIFICING MYSELF IN THE NAME OF EXPERIMENTATION?! Well, I suppose it isn't really sacrifice if I'm going to get some good out of it too :] Not to mention it's kind of nice to eat something besides the normal P2 diet. The crunch! It's just so satisfying!


Last night I went to happy hour with T, A and K. T, my best friend, is moving to Denver in a week and a half :[ This makes me a saaaad sad panda. But really, she doesn't belong here in Phoenix. She's much more of an outdoors-y, green, not-desert kind of person. She will thrive in Denver, but will be sorely missed. So tonight is a sort of going away party for her, held simultaneously with a club event that someone we know is throwing. I don't think I'll have any wine since I had some last night, but we'll see :]


The REAL test will be Saturday, her actual going away party barbecue. It'll no doubt be tough to stick to protocol then, but I'm going to, because it will be the second to last day of injections! I can't screw things up that late in the game! Time will tell :]


Eater of Waxy Nuts (HA!),

M


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

R3 VLCD #Something+MAS - I'm Nuts About Macadamias!

Hellooooooo party people!


I didn't lose that .5lb today... boooo. I had secretly predicted that I'd lose 1 pound, but nothing. Oh well. I hope I have a "woosh" in store tomorrow or SOMETIME before Sunday! But it really isn't TOO big of a deal, because I really like how I look now :D


SO! I read something interesting on HTA this morning. Someone on there read somewhere (someone told me that they told you that she told him that they told us that SHE said...) that a few macadamia nuts each day while on P2 increases weight loss a lil' bit. And THEEEENNNN a few people in the thread TRIED it and it worked for (most of)them! Seeing as how I haven't lost anything in the past few days, and that I am really happy with how I look nooow, I thought I'd give this little experiment a shot. The worst that could happen is that I don't lose, and that's not really a traumatic issue at this point. The BEST that could happen is that I lose more each day for the following 6 days and get to my 115 goal! Or beyond (fat chance)!!!!


So I moseyed on over to Sprouts this morning and got myself a bag of raw macadamia nuts! They were pretty tasty, although I DO prefer the salted ones. Most nuts I like raw, but these are just kind of bland. I ate 6.5 of them, which according to The All-Knowing Church of Google, equals about 130 calories. I worked waaay more than that off running this morning so we're all set! We'll see how it turns out tomorrow a.m.


I'm 'bout ready to be done with this mess. I want to eat normal food again. But not badly enough that when I go off the injections I fear I am going to pig out. I have definitely found an inner peace with all of this... my body, food, life in general. 


AND I GOT SOME FRIGGIN' CUTE SHOES TODAY, TOO!


And THAT, my friends, is ALWAYS cause for celebration.


Happy Feet,

M

Monday, May 18, 2009

R3 VLCD #Something+some more - Home Stretch

Alright people! Did you all have good weekends? Relaxing? Crazy? Blow-Your-Brains-Out Dull? Good good! Good to hear :]


We're in the final stretch! I'm still at 119, I got down to 118.5 on Sunday, but then ate every sample in sight at Costco. SAMPLES aren't supposed to count as real food! I thought that the oatmeal cookie, chicken pasta, and cream puff were completely devoid of calories. Evidently not. I don't know where I get my information but it's BADBADBAD. But the rest of my round will be as cleeeeeean as something reeeaaaaaally clean. 


I'm sure it will come off tomorrow, if not that and then some. My final injection is this coming Sunday, and I am hoping to get down to 115, which has always been my final goal. Can she do it? Can she overcome all obstacles and be successful? Can she completely ignore the chocolate covered pomegranate bits in the cupboard(yesterday I evidently couldn't)? Tune in all this week to find out!


I have a BUNCH of hCG left, it's currently camped out in my freezer right behind the orange roughy. My friend B told me on Saturday that she is ready to take the plunge and change her lifestyle. She has been through a LOT in the last year, and wants to shed old habits and start anew. So I'll be giving that to her whenever she wants it.  


I think that's about all I have for you today... I'm suddenly craving about 100 grams of ground beef. Haven't a clue why, but I think I'll go have some :]


ALMOST DONE!

M

Friday, May 15, 2009

R3 VLCD #Something - I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH *SOBSOBSOB*

OH. MY. GOD... It's YOU!!! How are you?? OMG you look FAAABBUUULLOOUUUSSSS! It has been so LONG! What HAVE you been doing? Are you still with that one guy? Still working at that one place? I'm soooooo glad to see you're doing fabulously. You're just so completely fabulous.

Sorry to stay away so long. I am notorious for starting blogs and then growing tired of them and abandoning ship for a while. I think I pressure myself into posting every day, and then when I miss a day or two, I think it's futile and all is lost and I stop. You should see how many different LiveJournal accounts I have. I'm taking up so much space on the web that they're gonna go all airline on me and start charging me for TWO seats. 

But now I'm back! From outer space! I just walked into see you here with that sad look upon your face! *boogies down*

But in all reality... I'm doing fantastic. My P3 didn't go quite as well as the first time... I was soooo tired of P2 and was getting weak which you can see if you recap my last few posts. SOOOOO in that nasty little grey area when you are no longer injecting but supposed to eat 500 calories per day, I sorta let loose. A lot. And then some more. Topped with even more with some MORE mixed in shakennotstirredthankyouverymuch. 

My LIW was 122.5 and I got up to a whopping 127 (insert horror movie scream here). Shaaaame ooooooh the shame!! 

SO! Here I am on P2 again, this time REALLY for my last time. I learned my lesson, I cannot CANNOT cheat those last few days of 500 calories, no matter how much justification I try to feed my hungry little sugar-starved brain. I am looking quite wonderful if I may say so myself, and I will :] THIS is a new feeling. Not just being OK with how I look but actually feeling HOT! I big puffy pink heart it a lot! 

And guess how much I weight? Guess what IIIII broke into just this morning?!?! 

THE TEENS! I'm 119! (insert Price is Right winner music here - circa Bob Barker NOT Dana Carvey)

I could not be more thrilled (unless of course I had magically dropped 4 more lbs and gotten to my final goal of 115 - but I do have a TOUCH of realism in me, I promise). The last few days I was getting a little mentally wishy-washy, wondering if I should just stop now instead of finishing up. I ALWAYS do that when I am about to reach a goal! I must not! I haven't been cheating, just toying with the idea of P3. I think I thought what Amie once told me - that I didn't think I COULD get below the 120s. That it was just unattainable even though I have abnormal fat left. It was just a mental block. But now I have opened the flood gates and feel great :]

Well I am sorry that I didn't keep up with you guys better - I will now go peruse your journals and see how you have been doing :] 

All the best,
M

Friday, April 10, 2009

R2 VLCD #26 - I TAKE IT BACK

The end! I didn't take an injection this morning. Last night after I got home from a relaxing Our Economy Blows Happy Hour with H (read: a bottle of wine bought at the store instead of drinks out) I had to make a cake. For H's bridal shower that I am throwing next weekend.
No no no I didn't make the cake this far in advance... I had to do a trial because I am making a
 special cake! NO not that kind of special. C'mon people, can't you read my mind? A rainbow cake!! So I made it for Snack Friday (which you SHOULD know what that is if you have been keeping up). It will look much prettier than this,
 it will be 2 layers and iced diff
erently and such, I was just seeing if I could achieve the tie-dye effect! (for the record, I did not eat any of the finished cake)

So I made the cake... and I licked the batter bowl... all 5 of them needed for the different colors. And plenty of frosting. I gained a pound today. And my stomach is PROTESTING. My intestines feel all weird and I'm all gurgley. That's what I get! I'm sure it'll come off soon enough, if this P3 is anything like my last P3. It was pretty darn easy. I know they are not all the same, but I work out so much that I think that helps a lot.

I'm just done. I tried to fight it, but I have no mental willpower left. I was starting to sabotage myself. As much as I hate to go back on my decision yesterday and say "no, I actually can't go further" I don't want to ruin what I have worked so hard for already. 

So I will just leave the syringes in the freezer until I decide if I am going to do another or I'm done forever and toss them out. Right now I am up in the air. I wanted to end up lower, but I may very well just be able to do that myself with the insane exercise regimen that I will be partaking in now that I am not going to be taking in the same amount of daily calories as a small cat. We shall see.

I feel good about what I have done so far. I really do like myself now, which is more than I ever imagined I would get out of this! I am ready for P3. SO READY. 

So... here I go!

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g beef
A chunk of cucumber
1 yellow apple
1.5 glasses of Pinot Noir
Some sliced ham (that's all they had)
Cake batter and frosting, in "a lick here and there really adds up" amounts

Weight tracking:
+1lb today
-19.5lbs overall
+1lb over LIW (122.5)

Embarking On Another P3 Expedition,
M

Thursday, April 9, 2009

R2 VLCD #25 - Say You'll Never Let Go, Jack, Never Let Go

Last night... I almost gave up.

Actually, I DID give up. I was done! Fin! Over! You coulda stuck a fork all the way THROUGH me I was so done. I decided that this morning I was not going to take a shot, and just start my transition into P3. I was feeling WEAK! I had had it. I wanted "real" food. I wanted to lift weights again. I wanted a "normal" life back!

SO weak, that I had several FINGERS-FUL of FROSTING. Yes FROSTING! You read that correctly. Not peanut butter, not cream cheese, not Walden Farms no-cal caramel dip.... FROSTING.

And a bite of S's dinner, which definitely included carbs. And maybe 15 or so cashews. 

This morning, I realized I was wrong. I woke up and didn't want to stop hCG. I felt renewed. I didn't feel too guilty about my little deviation (I think I actually needed some sugar) and I definitely didn't want to stop! 

So I didn't! I TOOK that shot. STRAPPED on my running shoes. And CONQUERED my weakness. 

And ya know what? That little bit of sugar sure made my run this morning pleasant. I didn't feel weak at all. And today still I feel great. 

I have actually been contemplating something that'd probably be pretty controversial. Not contemplating DOING it per say since I'm about done, but thinking it may be helpful, for some people. 

Perhaps during the protocol, after a few weeks of your VLCD, you need to take a day, have a small meal with something carb-y or sugar-y (not a lot - mind you - but enough to rejuvenate you a bit). Your brain has a hard time running off ketones all the time says S, so after a while it gets TIRED OF THIS and you crave, mentally and physically, sugars and carbs. Then the next day, take the gain or stall if you have one, into stride, and carry on. This may help people. I sure feel a helluva lot better today, where last night I was DONE. And I still lost a half of a pound! Granted - I think it would have been more had I not deviated, but I'm ok with it. I feel that I could go for another week. Or longer (I'm not though). I definitely retained some water from that frosting... I was SO THIRSTY for the rest of the night after eating it. SOOOO thirsty!

Now I'm not going to go out and tell people to do this, it's just a thought. And I think some would have a hard time sticking to just a little bit, or not doing it over and over again. 

Well there ya have it. Now here I go, journeying into the end of my round, full force and ready to TAKE IT ON!

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran almost 3 miles (smooth move interruption!)

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g chicken
A chunk of cucumber
1 green apple
100g beef
15 or so cashews
Several fingers-ful of frosting
A glass of pinot noir
A bite of S's dinner

Weight tracking:
-.5lb today
-10lbs this roun
-20.5lbs overall

EMPOWERED,
M

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

R2 VLCD #24 - A "Moving" Experience

Well I lost that .5lb today, just like you guys said I would! Wheee!! Tomorrow I am expecting more loss... in the Smooth Move category. I hadn't had a BM in like a week and a half or something, so I had some unfair buildup. I'm not taking magnesium or anything, so I haven't really been helping myself in that category. But I like my Smooth Move! And I never gain anything after I take it, so I feel like my losses are somewhat legit. In a normal eating situation I'd not have this much crap (literally) inside of me!

Soooooo I took some around 3pm yesterday, hoping I'd wake up in the middle of the night, have a (in my experience, Not So) Smooth Move, and go back to bed. Well this wasn't the case. I felt a little rumbly before bed so I thought I was on the right track, but when I woke up for our run, still nothing. 

I debated not running, but I consulted S and he just said "well just get as far as you can, and if you feel things start to move, then just head back". Logical, yes. I think my brain was just crying "SLEEEEEP! GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO SLEEP MORE!" So I went. 

I got almost all the way to the gym, when I felt those oh so familiar feelings when you know things are a-stirrin'. I walked for a moment, thought I was ok. So we ran again. NOPE! Time to go back! So I kissed S goodbye and turned around and started running home. I got about 1/2 mile more before I HAD to stop and walk. Srsly, I was about to run it right out of me!!

The rest of the journey home was... uncomfortable at BEST. I may have had a really close call. I am sure you all wanted to know this, but it's humorous. HUMOROUS, PEOPLE! Seeing my house come into view was almost a religious experience. The garage door opened on my first try. The world was working in my favor (and it had BETTER, after that little .5lb incident yesterday!)

So I feel light as a feather now! And hopefully tomorrow I'll be below this 123 that seems to like hanging around. Till then...

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran/walked 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g ground beef
100g chicken
A chunk of cucumber
1 small apple
Like 8 peanuts (OOOHHH SNAP!)

Weight tracking:
-.5lb today
-9.5 this round
-20lbs overall


Your Neighborhood Little Shit,
M

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

R2 VLCD #23 - Damn You, Universe, Damn You.

The universe is playing tricks on me again. Remember when I got to my 10lb loss goal? And the very next day I gained .5lb? Well guess what? Remember how I got to my 20lb loss goal yesterday? Guess what happened today?! Yeah!? I'll even give you a minute.

...

...

...

YEP! I gained .5lb today! So every time I have a little happy-celebration-time, the Universe is all, "LOL JK! HAHHA ROFL 2 BAD 4U!" and I'm all, "f u".

Garsh darnit. I mean I know that it's NOTHING. It's ALWAYS NOTHING. hCG IS THE SWEET SWEET NECTARS OF THE GODS AND CAN DO NO WRONG, I KNOW. But it sure is frustrating seeing that delicious number go away. Victory was MINE! Now victory will have to be MINE TOMORROW. If I'm lucky. 

I was even contemplating not going for the extra week because I thought I'd reach my 120 goal by the end of this one, but now I don't know. I just doooon't know. 

And now for the "weight-gain-justification" portion of todays program:

1. Ate the damn salsa again last night. Too much salt? Perhaps!

2. Ate like 5.0163 cashews last night. Yes, that's 5 and a tiny chunk. 

3. The gawddamn Universe is out to get me. 

4. I have completely lost all ability to lose weight and I may as well just gorge myself on cake and Haagen Dazs because all is lost. 

Guess which one my brain is telling me it is?!?!? Ha! Fooled you! Not number 4! And that in itself is a victory, because a few months ago before I embarked on this madness, I would have concluded that (really just an excuse to eat poorly again. But now I know that. And knowing, is half the battle).

Tomorrow will be better, I know. I can feel the scale's nasty, cold fingers releasing its slimy grip on my cerebral cortex though, which is huge progress for me. A year ago, my whole day would have been ruined, instead of giving me just enough fuel to write a melodramatic blog posting :]

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside
Walked 20 min with S and the pups

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g chicken
A chunk of cucumber
1 small apple
100g ground beef
A few sips of pinot noir
5 or 6 cashews

Weight tracking:
+.5lb today
-9lbs this round
-19.5lbs overall DAMN YOU!!!

Me, Being Me, 
M

Amie - we can do it! I am determined to lose that 5lbs on my own. Unless I can't (harhar)

Applebottomblues - You, me and Amie, girl... we can do the 5lbs on our own! We totally can! 

Biz - Thank you fairyhCGmother!!

Dawn - Thank you! Although you should take it back since I gained today. Dammit! I am unworthy of your praise

Monday, April 6, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #22 - I'm Walkin' On Sunshine...

... and does it feel GOOD!

As of this morning, I have OFFICIALLY LOST TWENTY POUNDS WITH hCG! Do you know how EXCITING this is? I have been counting down to this day (well - as well as I can with the erratic weight loss per day that this programme entails) for a while now. omg. Omg. OMG! 

So I just want to lost 3 more, which will put me at a solid 120. My FINAL goal is 115 but if I don't get there by the end of this round, I am going to try to do those last 5 pounds with normal exercise. I still have another vial, but I want to try on my own. I think I can do it on my own :]. hCG gave me the jump-start that I needed to bust full force into my new healthy lifestyle. I'm SECONDS away from being exactly where I want to be. I feel pretty damn good. DAMN good. 

This weekend went really well. The only things that I had that wasn't exactly on protocol was wine, and I already know that doesn't hinder my progress. 

I went out to a club night on Friday, in a scene that I used to frequent that I don't so much any more. EVERYONE was there and was gushing over how good I looked. And it happened again today when I came into work.

In other news, I am giving you another photo because I am feeling vain (that's appropriate for a while after you've lost 20lbs, isn't it?).






















LIFE IS GOOD!

Yesterday's exercise:
Nothing

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g chicken
1 small apple
100g ground beef
1/2 a glass of pinot noir
1 malt ball (tee hee hee)

Weight tracking:
-.5lb today
-9.5lbs this round
-20lbs overall

happy HAPPY happy,
M

For ALL the commenters - Thank you thank you thank you! You guys all make me feel so good about myself and successful and empowered. I don't know what I'd do without my support team *lovelovelove*

Friday, April 3, 2009

r2 VLCD Day #19 - Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of WINE

Ok so not a whole bottle, but 2.5 glasses.

Last night was great, I went and helped H with some wedding details (3 weeks! I'm so excited for her!) and went to a little impromptu girl's night. Wine was of course involved! The only problem is that for my second protein I had to eat sliced ham... it was like 9pm and I needed my second fruit, protein and veggie, and NOTHING P2 legal was in sight! So I improvised. Not too awful if I do say so.

So I didn't lose today but I had woken up an hour before I weighed and drank tons of water because I felt all dehydrated (thanks, wine). I thought about it while I was drinking it, that in an hour when I weighed I would probably not have lost, but it wasn't worth it to me to sleep that one more hour feeling like the sandman missed my eyes and instead dumped the Sahara into my mouth. Oh well. Not too upset about it. I'm sure I'll see a loss tomorrow.

Hey! Look at that! Not too upset! I am beginning to like myself enough that the numbers aren't mattering to me as much anymore. I like how I look and feel! Yay! :D

Though I couldn't run this morning. My legs just wouldn't do it. So I walked the 3 miles. That felt good! When I got home I ate a banana (bad, I know) but I was feeling woozy and there wasn't an apple in the house anywhere, nor any other simple sugars to raise my blood sugar level a little. Still, not too worried about it. I'll use that as my 2 fruits, of course! 

I'm noticing a difference in my face. I no longer have that little "half double chin" when I smile anymore. That was always one of my biggest woes. You couldn't tell from the front, it wasn't that big, but from the side there would be this little pooch behind my chin. I will demonstrate:

Taken somewhere around last September. Notice the little "lump" just behind where my chin stops:
























And this was taken yesterday. Because I was feeling pretty. In the car. In traffic. No lump:























I feel prettyyyyyy... oh so pretttyyyyy... I feel prettty and witttttty and gaaaaaay!

So there you have it my friends. If you want some REAL before and after (well, during, just from the end of the last round) go to happilythinnerafter.com. I put BIKINI photos up there. Zomg. It's shameful. You don't have to look. I even don't recommend it, I cannot be held responsible for any emotional trauma that comes from seeing that. Kay?

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g beef
Chunk of cucumber
2.5 glasses pinot noir
Some deli ham

Weight tracking:
-0lbs today
-7.5lbs this round
-18lbs overall


IT'S FRIDAY!,
M

Biz - you totally inspired me to exchange the dresses. So it's your doing that I got another! Thank you!

Mollie - Yaaaay!! Let's do this together sistah!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #18 - It's A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood...

Down another pound! Woohoo! Although I have to admit - when I first stepped on the scale it was only .5lb. Then 20 minutes later it was 1. I WANTED it to be 1 because of the 0 loss yesterday. Neurotic much!? I hope that tomorrow I don't see a small or no loss, because of my wanting to have lost 1 today. Am I crazy? Probably. I don't deny that at all. 

What's even more important than weight loss - I feel MUCH better. I think my last batch was indeed losing potency. I'm no longer run down, my cramps from my IUD are a bit worse (something I noticed in the beginning of this round when I had freshly mixed it), I'm not as hungry, my run wasn't so bad, no more cravings, and of course I lost another pound. 

So to be sure this doesn't happen again, I have the majority of my pre-loaded syringes in the freezer, and I will get out small batches as I run out of them in the fridge. It's no fun to do 500 calories with dying hCG, and what's MORE, 500 calories and running 3 miles a day at 6am, with dying hCG. 

That's about all I have to report for today - oh - I returned those dresses that were too small, and ordered them in XS. AANNNNDDDD to my great pleasure, when I re-ordered, there was a sale of 20% off your whole order, so I got another cute little dress for free basically! YAAAAYYYY sometimes things just go your way :D Yes Biz I will still post pics when I get them!

TWO MORE POUNDS until I have lost 20!!! (in total with hCG, not just in this round :])

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g chicken
Chunk of cucumber
1 small apple
100g of DELISH steak that S grilled up
1/2 a glass of pinot noir

Weight tracking:
-1lb today
-7.5lbs this round
-18lbs overall


Much Luuvvv,
M

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #17.5 - I GOT IT!!!!!!

MY SCALE IS APRIL FOOLS-ING ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oooh scale, you're such a silly bitch.

(I hope someone gets that Dane Cook reference, I'm not really that profane)
(ok so I am but I wouldn't have said that ;])

R2 VLCD Day #17 - Re-Up The Drugs

It's that time again. That dreaded time. That time where life gets hard, times get tough, and you can't call on Miller Time to help you out.

It's that time in P2 where the weight loss slows down. DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNNN!

As a loyal advocator of instant gratification, this is when protocol starts to get mentally trying. I'm losing. I'm not losing. I'm losing again. I'm fluctuating. I'M DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT GODDAMMIT!

I know it's normal but losing 1 pound a day is miiighty tasty. And when you get a taste of that mighty taste, you want MOOOOAAAAAR!!! 

I didn't lose anything today. There are a couple factors besides the normal ebbs and flows of le programme that could be contributing.

1. My hCG was at the end of the 5000i.u. vial. Could have been losing potency. I hadn't been feeling 100% the past two or so days (a bit hungry, tired), so this is probable.

2. Aunt Flo is (I think) here. I say "I think" because I got an IUD literally a few days before I started the round, and I have been spotting ever since (normal). It just got heavier and I'm crampy so I *think* she is here?

3. 126 - strange number, I know - could be kind of a "set point" for my body. I remembering hovering at this number for a loooooong time, even when I was trying to lose weight. 

4. My body lost enough weight last week that I am retaining water and will have a "woosh" soon.

The most probable cause is that it's "just that time again". Here I am grasping at straws to keep losing at an unreasonable rate. I know I am still losing, I just need to back The Crazy out of the "instant gratification" corner of my brain and into a synapse that involves slower, steady, progress.

Yesterday was my last shot of the old batch, so I mixed a new one up. I so conveniently didn't have any of the large mixing syringes left, so

I HAD TO USE ONE OF THE TINY ASS INJECTION ONES.

Do you know how much that sucks? Do you?? Well let me tell you. The tiny syringes are only .5mL. So if you need to add 6mL of air to something, you have to add TWELVE SYRINGES FULL. Needless to say, it took a while. But alas, I finished, CORRECTLY, I might add (this leaves a lot of room for error but I was quite meticulous) so now I have more liquid miracles to flood my belly button with. Enough for the last 11 days of this round + 7 more. I haven't decided if I am going to extend my round 7 days (I'm not sure if I have the stamina for that) or save them for another time, if I even need another time. I could just trash them in a month or so. They are frozen for now. 

I have a feeling that in 11 days I won't be terribly interested in going for another 7. We shall see. We shaaaall see.

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 of a grapefruit with Splenda
100g ground beef
Chunk of cucmber
1 small apple
100g of chicken

Weight tracking:
-0lbs today
-6.5lbs this round
-17lbs overall

My Crazy Is Showing,
M

Biz - Thank you thank you! Although today is another story :[

Applebottomblues - I just started doing a SERIOUS run in my last P3. I found I could eat basically whatever I wanted and maintain under my LIW. Now I'm not saying that this will be the same for everyone so don't go out and scarf cake and run a few miles and condemn me in the morning, but I found that it certainly gave me a LOT of leeway. That being said - I have ran a bit my whole life... it has never helped me lose, really, just maintain. 

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #16 - Meeeeaaaat....Give Me Meeeeeaaattt!!!

Hi again! Please excuse the blah-ness of my last post... all day yesterday I was soooo exhausted and I couldn't figure out why! I thought maybe I just tossed and turned all night, that maybe one of our dogs crept up onto the bed and was licking my toes. Or S. Who knows. 

So I went home and flung myself around and whined to S and he snuggled me even though he had lots of other things to do because he is amazing. AMAZING I TELL YOU!

Around 8 I thought "I should probably eat something" so I went to the fridge. I opened it up and looked around at my options and thought "Hmmmm... about 100 grams of meat sounds JUST right." Crazy, I know. I musta got a wild hair up my arse or something. So I reached for my delightfully pre-weighed chicken... and hesitated. There was 100g of ground beef just behind that. Did I want THAT instead? Suddenly that sounded JUST like what I needed. I salivated even!

So I cooked that beef up and ate it and you know what? I instantly (where "instantly" means "10 to 20 minutes") felt better. I was anemic! I needed iron! I generally eat beef for one meal a day on this programme of carniverous activity, and I hadn't for maybe 5 days.

ALSO, S discovered that the #1 thing that stops the absorption of iron??!?!? Green tea!!! Um, h-ELL-o! #1 Drinker of the tea of green here! I have 4 cups a day! So I MUST eat red meat, because I am not absorbing iron from my other foods since I inhale green tea like a woman possessed. 

I'm pretty tired again today, but my run was much easier. And I have more ground beef for lunch, so I think I just need to re-stock my reserves. Here we go! Wheeee!

I lost another pound today, wooohooo!!! This piques my curiosity... perhaps the running really DOES excellerate my weight loss. Over the weekend I lost erratically, but the day after I run again, there goes another pound. I guess we shall see as the week progresses...

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g chicken
1 small apple
Chunk of cucumber
100g of ground beef

Weight tracking:
-1lb today
-6.5lbs this round
-17lbs overall


Turning Sherlock Super-Sleuth,
M

Monday, March 30, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #15 - Roller Coaster... Of Looooove

I am pretty tired, so I'll give you a bare bones update on the weight-loss related topics from the weekend!

Saturday I weighed and I had lost nothing. WTF. Alright I was actually ok with it because I had lost a lot the last week and my body was probably just catching up.

Sunday I weighed and had lost 1.5lbs. Wooohooo!!!

BUT

Today I weighed and I had gained .5lb. Boooo.

The only thing I did differently yesterday was eat my chicken and vegetable right before bed (I forgot to eat dinner and then made myself right before I went to sleep), and I had some salsa with it. I think the salsa makes me retain water. There are no hidden illegal ingredients in it (all natural, P2 legal foods) but it's pretty salty. Damn, it's delicious.

Well anyhoo we'll see how tomorrow's weigh in goes.

Yesterday's exercise:
Hiked a mountain with S
Rode horses with H

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g tilapia
1 small apple
100g chicken with salsa
Chunk of cucumber with salsa <-- Really good!

Weight tracking:
+.5lb today
-5.5lbs this round
-16lbs overall

Sleepily,
M

Friday, March 27, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #12 - Second Verse, Same As The First!

Wooooohooo another pound down today! I wonder how long I can keep THIS up! Hopefully for a while :]

I think it's due to my (insanity) running in the morning. Actually, I'm pretty SURE it's due to my running in the morning. I don't run on the weekends so we'll see how my losses vary Saturday and Sunday, and see if it changes next week when I start up again!

Also I have not been eating any cocoa powder, Walden Farms products, nor anywhere NEAR as much Splenda as last round. Those are probably factors as well. So my diet is not as creative and diverse, but my losses are better (so far). So...

A) Two more weeks of way boring menu... awesome losses

or

B) Two more weeks of pretty boring menu... not as good losses

I think I can handle the WAY boring menu. It's only two weeks. It's only two weeks. 

At work I invented this thing called "Snack Friday". 20 of us participate, and basically the gist is that each Friday someone brings in snacks for the 20 of us. It rotates so you only have to make snacks one out of every 20 Fridays, but you GET snacks EVERY Friday. It's pretty brilliant, if I do say so myself... if you're not trying to lose weight. People have come and gone as they diet, but I can't because I run the damn thing! SO I just deal with my torture, one Friday at a time. Makes me strong, right?

So last night was MY snack day, and I made Tiger Butter. It's delicious... white chocolate and peanut butter melted together, then spread out about 1/4" thick on a lipped pan. Then on top of that is melted milk chocolate, and you swirl a knife through it so it's stripey and pretty, and then you chill it until it's hard. 

It's currently sitting within arm's reach, but I am being SOOO good! I have to admit, I had a tiny crumb that fell off of one of the pieces (like the size of a ladybug) but I think that's O.K. :] I don't think I've ever made a batch of sweets without having some. This is weird. I felt a little deprived, but then I looked down at my glorious flat tummy and reveled in my strength. 

We had people over last night and I didn't even have WINE! It hasn't affected my weight loss yet in and of itself, but I am doing so well after my deviation that I just don't want to risk it! I feel like I have been given a second chance, so I'm going to take full advantage. 

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g beef with onions
100g chicken
1 small apple

Weight tracking:
-1lb today
-4.5lbs this round
-15lbs overall

15 POUNDS! 15 POUNDS!,
M




Thursday, March 26, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #11 - Bagel, Anyone?

...not for me of course. But one of our vendors had Einstein Bro's catered in today for our enjoyment(dismay).

Actually, I don't feel bad at all about not having one. I think my deviation has put me on the straight and narrow. I'm not even tempted! I AM however, having half of a cup of coffee, with Splenda and a splash of Half and Half, although I'm even a little hesitant about that. I actually think I need a little boost - my run this morning was PRETTY HARD. Running 3 miles on a 500 calorie diet is NOTHING like running 3 miles on a 1700 calorie diet. NOTHING. And now I feel pretty run down. I was going to have an extra apple but I think the half and half will do. I will still have the apple if I still feel sluggish later. No need to hurt myself. 

I'm going to venture to say that most people don't run 3 miles a day on this beast of a "protocol". But again, I could be wrong! Maybe everyone is running FIVE miles and I'm slackin'! But I doubt it. 

The stabbing today went marginally better. I still had to sit my arse down and wind up a few times... finally what got me to do it was I told myself that afterwards I would go try on the red dress that I got, that I could see a tiiiiny hint of my tummy pooch in when I first tried it on. So I stabbed away (gulp), and tried on that dress, and you know what? I think I need an XS in that one too. That's 3 that I need to send back now. The red one fits PERFECTLY now, and the other two are a bit too big. So in another 2 weeks when I'm done, they're going to be really big. 

I hate exchanging catalogue-ordered things, it's a pain in the butt. But necessary. The good thing about VSC exchange is that if you call before you exchange them, they will just go ahead and send you the new ones right then (and charge you again of course) and then credit your card when they receive the ones you sent back. I like this because I am IMPATIENT. NOW! NOW! NOW! And I've never had a problem with getting $ back from them. I love VSC clothes *swoon* they are great quality, extremely comfortable, and fit really well. I have clothes I bought from them in high school that have not lost their shape, color, and I still love. 

So my friend H started the programme of hopes and dreams! She had just transitioned into really being healthy, working out, and not eating like crap. So this is kind of a "boost" for her. Her load days were the days that I was deviating like an asshole. She seems happy with it so far, she's making awesome progress :D

Oh and just a teeeeny "by the way"... I AM OFFICIALLY IN THE 120s today! Wooooooooh!! 129. Yeah baby, lost another pound! I can't WAIT until I see 125! And then 120! Which is my goal for this round. Happy! AAAAND... one more pound and I will have lost 15lbs (net) with hCG! Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the musiiiiiic!

But you know what the BEST part of today is?!!? S comes home!!!! :D :D :D <3333948273472

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g chicken
Chunk of cucumber
100g beef with onions
1 small apple

Weight tracking:
-1lb today
-3.5lbs this round
-14lbs overall

happy HAPPY happy,
M

Ps. I'm totally hopping on the "respond to comments in the next post" train. Good idea guys :]

applebottomblues - In your thigh?? Really? Why the switch? S didn't hesitate either. Our big strong manly men :]

Biz - You poor thing! But now you're a friggin' zen masta' at this whole protocol thing! Seriously, I bow down to your knowledge and experience.

betweenagirlandherfood - You can totally do it. Do like 1 lap around your block and call it quits. The trick is to start REALLY slow so that you ENJOY it, instead of pushing really hard in the beginning and hating it, until you stop! I believe in you! Listen to your dreams girl, they're talkin' to you!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #10 - Sweet Sweet Masochism

s is out of town

S Is Out Of Town

S IS OUT OF TOWN!!!

What does that mean to me besides crying myself to sleep in a cold, empty bed (well, not entirely true - I let our dachshund sleep with me last night SSHHH DON'T TELL), piping up to tell him about something cool only to find he's not there, and feeling like half of me is missing? It means that...

I HAVE TO STAB MYSELF.

I will now repeat that for dramatic emphasis.

I HAVE TO STAB MYSELF. 

I know you brave souls that do this daily are out there, and are possibly even reading this blog. But I AM NOT ONE OF YOU. I can stab my friend H (who started the protocol btw - I'll get to that later). I could stab S. Never had to, but I could. I can stab anyone else, all day long! Stab! Stabbity Stab Stab Stab! But me? Stab MYSELF? Are you KIDDING?!

So there I was.... 6am and up for my morning run, standing naked in the kitchen. 

Vial sterilized? Check. 
Needle filled? Check. 
Tummy sterilized? Check. 

Holding the syringe half an inch from my skin. I thought "Hey! No problem! I can totally do this." and I tried. Where "tried" means my brain said "Ok, one... two... three... GO!" about 50 times while my hand was off in la la land listening to some Pearl Jam and completely disregarding the message. 

At this point I felt my legs get a leeeetle wobbly and my fingers shake a bit. This was not working. So I sat down on a kitchen chair and regrouped. I think I have to do this sitting down. Well when I sat down, Einstein our 5 month old maltese puppy of course put his front paws up on my knee, and Tango our dachshund sat there and stared at me. Now I had an AUDIENCE! Wheee this keeps getting better! So cold puppy paws and all (I think they gave me support) I closed my eyes, wound up, and stabbed. 

Needle in skin? Check.
Push in the liquid miracles? Check.

The whole ordeal seriously took me about 12 minutes (not like I checked or anything... *shifty eyes*) but in the end I DID IT! Wooooooo go M! 

I'm sure it gets better each time you do it but I sure am glad that tomorrow is the last morning that I am going to have to impale my own body. Believe you me. 

Ok so now that I am done being all dramatic (it's in my nature, what can I say?), I lost another pound today. Wooooo I am back to where I was on Friday before my weekend of devil worshipping and greed. 

So that means that if all goes well, tomorrow (TOMORROW!) I SHOULD be in the 120's! 130 is sort of a "set point" for my body. A few years ago I went from the low 120's to 130 and I wouldn't budge much below that point. 

BE GONE, 130! FOREVER!

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g beef with onions
1 small apple
100g chicken

Weight tracking:
-1lb today
-2.5lbs this round
-13lbs overall

Lonely, Oh So Lonely,
M

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #9 - Reaping the Consequences?

I'm not feeling very eloquent today so I'm going to cut right to the chase. I lost 2.5lbs today. Not that it was all lost in a "fat" sort of manner... I took some smooth move yesterday to rid myself of all the nasty food that was sitting in my intestines. Although I didn't have much of a "move". But also, some of the weight gained from my deviation was obviously not all fat either, but food sitting inside of me (I didn't have a BM all weekend) so I feel pretty even. So I am 1lb over what I was when I went to Strawberry for the weekend.

IF I had not deviated, I'll bet I would be at 127 right now but noooo. Instead I sit here at 131. But I can "I'll bet" all I want. I need to just LET IT GO.

S went to Milwaukee this morning, so I am without a husband for a few days. Sadness :[

Tomorrow, I will be back to my regular bloggy self. I assure you.

OH! I almost forgot to tell you. When I got back from Strawberry my dresses were indeed here! And almost to mock what I did over the weekend... they fit perfectly. One was even a tiny bit big. I don't know whether to send it back and get an XS or just live with it. Hmmmm. I will post photos just for you BIZ! :D

Yesterday's exercise:
nothing

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g chicken 
100g beef with onions (extra onions b/c I didn't have a veggie during the day)
small apple

Weight tracking
-2.5lb today
-1.5lbs this round
-12lbs overall

Your Friendly Sourpuss,
M

Monday, March 23, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #8 - SHAME! OH THE SHAME!

Yes, yes, this is exactly what you expect. I went back and forth all morning deciding whether I was going to post or not, and I decided that I would not benefit AT ALL by crawling into my little hole and hiding my sins from all of you. Especially you, Biz. I feel the need to be held accountable for my actions... via internet blogging. 

... and the scale.

So this past weekend we went to Strawberry again, as planned. Remember last time, how I was so good and resisted everything and just ate my chicken and apple and was SO worried because I ate AN EXTRA APPLE to help my blood sugar level late at night?

Well that happened again, without the being good part. Or the extra apple part. And add in a burrito and cheesecake and peanuts and pretzel crisps and steak and grapefruits and wine. Lots of wine. Over a period of a day and a half. 

So Friday on our way to Strawberry, about halfway through the day I was having "oh just a bite" here and there, which I have NEVER done before. A cashew or two. A bite of H's ice cream. A sip of S's shake. Then later in the night after a few glasses of wine (which doesn't inhibit my weight loss - but DOES inhibit my BRAIN) I totally cracked. Threw all caution to the wind. 

All of Saturday I ate whatever.

Sunday I finally put myself in check and said NO MORE! So I was good all of Sunday, and today has been 100% clean as well. 

I don't know WHAT I was thinking! Actually, I do. I was weak minded. I thought that enjoying delicious foods with my husband and friends would be worth the major cheat that I was committing. Erasing the weight loss I have achieved on this round so far? No problem! No big deal! Right?

WHAT?! No! NO! NOOOOOOOO!

I gained 3.5lbs. It is a sad sad day in M land. But more than sad about the weight gain, (I feel that I deserve 3.5lbs at LEAST), I am sad at myself for being so weak. 

One of the worst parts? I was down another 2lbs on Friday! Putting my net loss this round at 2.5lbs (since we know I don't count load weight) and my net loss for hCG at 13lbs. I was at 130 on Friday, and was looking forward to coming back from the weekend in the 120's and having another naked-on-the-scale-celebratory dance. 

UGH! UGH UGH UGH!

So I'm not up above my load weight, but I'm .5lb above my LIW for last round, and 1lb above my pre-load weight this round. 

I certainly learned my lesson though. It is NOT worth it. AT ALL. When I woke up on Sunday morning I immediately felt so guilty. I knew that I would be feeling completely different had I stayed strong all weekend. I would be looking forward to stepping on the scale on Monday to see what my hard work earned me. But instead I just had a gut full of half-digested cheat food that I no longer appreciated and angry masses (thats you guys) to report to today. 

*shame*

Please don't throw the rocks too hard, I learned my lesson I promise :[

Chain Chain Chaaaaiiinnn... Chain of Fooools,
M

Thursday, March 19, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #4 - Impatient

Half pound down! Again - not SUPER excited because I have .5 more until I match the lowest I've been since I started all this... this... business. But I'll take it! It's a loss!

I'm getting a little anxious about the second round curse. I guess I just have to wait and see in a few days if everything goes well. It's alllll just a wait and see :]

My run this morning went a little better than yesterday's. Rolling out of bed was a chore though. It's nice to roll back over... and close your eyes for a moment... and imagine... that you are just going to keep on sleeeeeeepinggg...... *snaps out of it.* I still got winded easily but I was able to run longer distances without stopping. Normally I can run the whole thing without stopping. Yesterday I needed several breaks. 

My dresses are supposed to arrive tomorrow! That is SUPER fast for Victoria's Secret. They tell you 2 weeks delivery time and generally it takes that long. But I am in luck! It probably has something to do with the fact that this time the supplier was in California. And I in Phoenix. I just hope it comes by 11am tomorrow because that's wheeeeen...

*drumroll*

...we are going to Strawberry! Remember when we went before for a friend's 30th birthday? Well we liked the cabin/house so much that we are renting it this weekend for S and I and another couple to go relax in. I am somewhat disappointed that I cannot partake in all the delicious food/beverages (besides some wine perhaps) that will be there, but alas, I am losing weight. And that is a million times better! Right? RIGHT?!

Not that I am going to wear the dresses in Strawberry anyways, seeing as it will probably be pretty chilly (um, HELLO?! 9" of snow last time!!). But I'm excited! :D Maybe I'll even post a photo or two IF I'M FEELING REALLY CRAZY.

I officially need my rings sized down. They REALLY spin on my fingers now and am afraid of losing them. I want to wait until the end of this round to get them sized because I haven't even hardly BEGUN yet, but they are at risk of flying off my fingers as I swing my arms. I will walk in fists. 

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 grapefruit with Splenda
100g of beef with onions
Chunk of cucumber
small apple
100g chicken with onions

Weight tracking: 
-.5lb today
-.5lbs this round
-11lbs overall

WHY CAN'T MY DRESSES JUST COME TODAY??,
M

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #3 - All Bettah!

Today I got back down to my LIW. Huzzah! Now I can actually start LOSING weight. Although the cynic in my head is saying that I have one more pound to go until I am at my lowest since starting HCG. I was generally under my LIW on P3.

SO yeah! I feel pretty great. S and I went running this morning... we had skipped Monday and Tuesday on account of getting to bed at 3:30am after the show Sunday night! Monday wasn't happening, and Tuesday when we woke up S was like "how ya feelin" and I'm all "zomg zzzzzz" and he's all "kthxbai zzzzzz"

It's amazing how much better I feel after a morning run. I really love it. HOWEVER, it was quite a bit harder, this being the first day I've ran on my 500 calorie diet. I could DO it, it was just significantly more difficult. I feel great now though, so I don't think I am doing any harm by running on the diet. If I start to feel weak I will just eat a bit more, until I don't. I am not sacrificing my running this time. 

I am really excited about the outcome of this round. I hear that R2 is like hiking to Hell and back for a lot of people, but I'm trying to be optimistic. Perhaps I'm getting what I want to happen confused with being optimistic about what I think is really going to happen, but whatever. I have a good mindset! I did so well during P3 that I am confident that I will be able to keep all of this weight off for good. I was literally flying high on P3! No problems even though I INDULGED!

It's definitely all the running. Which I am more than willing to do. So if that's how I have to live the rest of my life in order to be thin and enjoy carbs and sugar, I'll take it!

It's definitely harder to resist things, this P2. I'm not hungry, and I'm not craving, but since I was able to eat things like cake on P3 and not gain, I see those things now and I'm like WANT! And I think I'm justified. But I'm not ON P3 anymore. It's a mental hump that I'll just have to get over. 

Like yesterday, someone brought in green rice crispy treats and a cake of the flag of Ireland. 

And TODAY, the SAME person brought in these AMAZING cookies called TimTams from Australia. I LOVE them and you CAN'T get them here. So the fact that there is 1 box, and that 1 box is NOT going to have TimTams left in them by the time I'm off the shots, makes me want some because they will be gone!

But it's ok, cause I'M LOSING (winning? :]) AND THEY'RE NOT! Neener :]

Yesterday's exercise:
Nothing

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 a grapefruit with Splenda
100g of chicken with onions
100g of beef with onions
 small apple

Weight tracking:
-1.5lbs today
-0lbs this round
-10.5lbs overall

Chuggin' Along,
M

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #2 - Playing Catch-Up

Happy St. Patricks Day everyone!!! I may be like 90% Irish but I shamefully forgot to wear green AT ALL today. I mean not even a lick. My solution? I made a bracelet out of an old Christmas garland decoration that was never taken down, near my cube. 'Cause I'm resourceful like that. It's actually quite cute in a 4-year old at a crafty birthday party sort of way. And now there is a photo. 

I think subconsciously I didn't wear green because I know I cannot properly participate in St Paddy's day this year. No green beer for me! What was I thinking?! I should have started a week later. Bah humbug (appropriate because of the above Christmas reference). 

I lost 2.5 lbs today... not a huge whooptie-do to me because I am still 1.5lbs above my pre-load weight. NO, I DO NOT COUNT MY LOAD WEIGHT IN MY TOTAL LOSS. C'mon people, ALL that does is make you feel like you've lost more weight than you really have. Yes, this programme works, but there is no need to make people think it works better than it actually does. No one starts a "diet" saying "Ok, I want to lose 10lbs. But first I need to gain 4, so I really need to lose 14lbs". So to ME, the weight loss doesn't really start until I am back down to the weight I was before I stuffed my face with as much fat as I possibly could for two days. You wouldn't purposely gain 4lbs and then lose the 4lbs a few days later and go around telling people "HEY I LOST 4 LBS!!" That's just silly. And no one cares as much as you, so it's just deceiving to yourself! I know that "but but but Dr. Simeons SAYS we are to count that in our weight loss!" Oh you wanna know WHY?? Because he wants it to look like you've lost as much weight as possible so others will want to do it, and you'll want to do it again! What other valid reason is there? None! Sure, he was a good doctor and cares about people and wants them to get healthy, but he also was selling his services and method, ok? I think we forget this. And there really is no need for the exaggeration, because this plan really DOES WORK. 

*gets off her soapbox* So yes! Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to or below my pre-load weight, so we can get this show on the road :]

Speaking of loading... I must have done something right this time because I do not feel hungry at all! Do you remember my first few days, my first time around? I was FAMISHED. Quote time! This was from my VLCD #3:

"Now I feel fine. But MAN I needed that apple. Even my delicious Jasmine Green Tea was making me feel nauseous. Hey! WHEN is that "I'M ONLY EATING ENOUGH FOR A 3 YEAR OLD OR A RUNWAY MODEL BUT SOMEHOW I'M MAGICALLY NOT HUNGRY" thing kick in!? huh?! HUH?!"

So hooray for me. N stuff. N stuff nstuff nstuff.

Yesterday's exercise:
Walked the puppies with S, about a mile

Yesterday on my plate was:
1/2 a grapefruit with Splenda
100g of chicken
100g of chicken with onions
1 small apple 

Weight tracking:
-2.5lbs today
+1.5lbs this round
-9lbs overall

Ready to Start LOSIN!,
M

Monday, March 16, 2009

R2 VLCD Day #1 - On the Road Again...

Load weekend: complete! In fact, I even loaded 2.5 days!! S and I got home from work on Friday, all prepared to have a quiet evening in, and he wanted pizza. This is not a common occurrence, S wanting unhealthy food. I thought it sounded FAB but I wasn't to start loading until Saturday! S being ever so resourceful, was just like "Well why don't you just take a shot and start now?" 

GREAT idea. Brilliant even! Who says you can't take it in the afternoon! So I started a bit early, and nommed down a whole entire medium cheese pizza with loads of ranch dressing. I mean like a LOT of ranch dressing. The pizza was literally a vehicle FOR the dressing. I think I got my fat in.

Saturday and sunday were not nearly as indulgent, but I still had plenty of delicious and coma-inducing foods, that really, I don't miss all that much. I actually like eating healthy most of the time, and occasionally indulging, much more than "loading". I don't NEED something fatty and unhealthy at every meal. In fact on Saturday... I even ate an apple. But that chocolate milkshake from In N Out SURE WAS GOOD.

So I gained a whopping 4lbs on my load days. This time I don't feel nearly as full up to the brim, but I sure have retained a lot of water. My fingers are all sausage-like and my rings all tight. Icky. 

I'm super excited to be back on the weight loss train! I'm not hungry this morning, and I feel pretty good. Exhausted, but good. But that was from the show we saw in Tucson last night....we didn't get back till 3am so ahhhh, needless to say, waking up at 8 was rather hard. And so is sitting at this desk. Awake. 

I'm tired so I'm going to cut this short. Maybe after I mainline some green tea I'll be up for a better entry :]

Yesterday's exercise:
Danced my arse off for 3.5 hours

Yesterday on my plate was: 
Load food. 
Including Indian and banana pancakes

Weight tracking:
+4lb today (or for the weekend rather)
+4lbs this round
-6.5lbs overall (that looks scarily small because of the load! Aaah! My eyes!!!)


Zzzzz,
M

Thursday, March 12, 2009

P3 Day #16.5: NEWCLOTHESNEWCLOTHESNEWCLOTHES

Woooohoooo I just ordered some new dresses from Victoria's Secret. They are having an AWESOME sale on EVERYTHING so if you need (or want) stuff, go do some online shoppin' :].

I have decided that I want to live my life in dresses and skirts. I just feel so much cuter in them. And I know S likes it ;]

So here is what I got (in these colors). ALL in size SMALL because that is my size now! Woooohoo!


and the back to that one...


Can't Wait for the Mail to Come,
M

P3 Day #16: 100 Lashes With A Wet Noodle

Blah blah blah my life rocks... blah blah blah this is so easy... blah blah blah I ate chocolate cake yesterday and lost a half pound because of it...

Don't worry, my dear readers. On Monday, I will stop blowing sunshine up your arses. On Monday, I will be on my first day of my VLCD and I can go back to being miserable. But BEFORE that, I get to load for two days this weekend! Neener neener neeeeener!!!

Actually I'm not all that excited, I'm just being mean and taunting you. I mean it will be nice to have some of those things I guess, but I just feel so GOOD and HEALTHY right now that eating that way means I may feel a little shitty. Oh well, I'm going to run Sunday morning so I won't feel THAT bad. 

And THEN I will be losing weight again! Wooohooo! I am hoping to lose 12 pounds. Then I will be down to my "goal". My REAL goal was really 5lbs below that, but in 3 weeks I don't know how likely that is. And really, that was just a number. A number in my head. That means nothing now that I am more muscular than I was back when I weighed that. We shall see.

All in all, this HCG thing has changed my life. Not just doing it and losing some weight, but also the life changes I have made because of it. 

Working out in the morning is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. 

Running to the gym and back is amazing. 

Food no longer has control over my thoughts. 

When I taste things I used to LOVE (bagel, semi-sweet chocolate chips) I find that they really AREN'T as good as I thought they were, I was just addicted to sugar. And now I am able to make that distinction and put them down after a bite.

I now know that I really DO need to eat 1400-1800 calories per day, and I won't gain weight because of it. This is a big one, because as someone with a past eating disorder, that is a VERY hard thing to let go of, even when healed. 

I can allow myself to eat things that I really DO like, such as cake and Thai food with rice, and not feel guilty or gain weight, because I eat healthily 95% of the time. 

I don't feel deprived of anything, and I have never felt so physically and mentally good in my life. 

I still have some weight to lose. I am still not completely content with how I look, but I am getting there, and making progress. I am much happier with myself now than I was 3 months ago. I want to, and KNOW I WILL, get to the point where I am content with myself, and then maintain successfully. 

I'M ON MY WAY!!!

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
Peanut butter - 90
1 deviled egg - 70
A few bites of bagel with cream cheese - 50
Piece of chocolate cake - 400
2 deviled eggs - 140
Malt ball from Sprouts - 20
Cashews - 160
Apple - 80
2 deviled eggs - 140
Cashews - 140
Pork rinds w/ sour cream - 300
2 glasses of Pinot noir - 150
Total Calories - 1840

Weight tracking:
-.5lb today
-11lbs overall
-1lb under LIW


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