Thursday, March 12, 2009

P3 Day #16: 100 Lashes With A Wet Noodle

Blah blah blah my life rocks... blah blah blah this is so easy... blah blah blah I ate chocolate cake yesterday and lost a half pound because of it...

Don't worry, my dear readers. On Monday, I will stop blowing sunshine up your arses. On Monday, I will be on my first day of my VLCD and I can go back to being miserable. But BEFORE that, I get to load for two days this weekend! Neener neener neeeeener!!!

Actually I'm not all that excited, I'm just being mean and taunting you. I mean it will be nice to have some of those things I guess, but I just feel so GOOD and HEALTHY right now that eating that way means I may feel a little shitty. Oh well, I'm going to run Sunday morning so I won't feel THAT bad. 

And THEN I will be losing weight again! Wooohooo! I am hoping to lose 12 pounds. Then I will be down to my "goal". My REAL goal was really 5lbs below that, but in 3 weeks I don't know how likely that is. And really, that was just a number. A number in my head. That means nothing now that I am more muscular than I was back when I weighed that. We shall see.

All in all, this HCG thing has changed my life. Not just doing it and losing some weight, but also the life changes I have made because of it. 

Working out in the morning is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. 

Running to the gym and back is amazing. 

Food no longer has control over my thoughts. 

When I taste things I used to LOVE (bagel, semi-sweet chocolate chips) I find that they really AREN'T as good as I thought they were, I was just addicted to sugar. And now I am able to make that distinction and put them down after a bite.

I now know that I really DO need to eat 1400-1800 calories per day, and I won't gain weight because of it. This is a big one, because as someone with a past eating disorder, that is a VERY hard thing to let go of, even when healed. 

I can allow myself to eat things that I really DO like, such as cake and Thai food with rice, and not feel guilty or gain weight, because I eat healthily 95% of the time. 

I don't feel deprived of anything, and I have never felt so physically and mentally good in my life. 

I still have some weight to lose. I am still not completely content with how I look, but I am getting there, and making progress. I am much happier with myself now than I was 3 months ago. I want to, and KNOW I WILL, get to the point where I am content with myself, and then maintain successfully. 

I'M ON MY WAY!!!

Yesterday's exercise:
Ran 3 miles outside

Yesterday on my plate was:
Peanut butter - 90
1 deviled egg - 70
A few bites of bagel with cream cheese - 50
Piece of chocolate cake - 400
2 deviled eggs - 140
Malt ball from Sprouts - 20
Cashews - 160
Apple - 80
2 deviled eggs - 140
Cashews - 140
Pork rinds w/ sour cream - 300
2 glasses of Pinot noir - 150
Total Calories - 1840

Weight tracking:
-.5lb today
-11lbs overall
-1lb under LIW


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2 comments:

  1. I totally feel you on this one - I've never felt better, mentally, and I'm pretty happy with where I'm HEADED physically. It's makes ya wonder what you'll feel like once you've reached your "goal"!! And you're so going to rock the socks off the VLCD - and look super cute in those dresses. They're awesome!

    :) :) :) :)

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  2. This is the perfect attitude to have.

    I love you very much.
    --Shafik

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