P3 Day #2:Rockin' the Suburbs

Well, yesterday was nothing remarkable, besides the fact that I ATE CHEESE! SWEET SWEET CHEESE, ALL DAY LONG. YUM!!! And you know what? It didn't affect me at all today! YAAAAYYYYY one of my favorite foods, I do not have an intolerance to! Do you know how happy that makes me??? DO YOU?!?

Well, now you do I suppose! And I brought MORE for today! Wheeee! 

This will be a short entry this morning, nothing major to report... the morning workouts are still going VERY well, I feel fantastic. Better than I have in my whole life :] S even came with me this morning and I think he liked it too :]

Yesterday's exercise:

1 hour at 3.6 on a 4.5 incline

Yesterday on my plate was:

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda - 40c

Salad: 1.5c spinach, 1.5T ranch, 1/6c shredded cheese - 190c

100G lean beef, 1 slice cheese melted on top - 230c

1/2 grapefruit with Splenda - 40c

Chunk of cucumber with red wine & olive oil vinagrette - 45c

100g Tilapia with 1 slice cheese melted on top - 170c

1 malted milk ball from Sprouts :] - 20c?

A few bites of ground beef with onion - 50c?

4 cups of jasmine green tea

Total calories: 785 (eep, not nearly enough!)

Weight tracking: 

-0 today

-11.5lbs change overall

-1.5lbs under LIW

Your Local Ray of Sunshine,

M

O... M... G... 

For the record... a slice of cheese melted on steak chunks is one of the great pleasures of the world. I think I died and went to heaven.

P3 Day #1: Journey Into the Unknown

I am OFFICIALLY in Phase 3! *Throws a party, does a dance, gets drunk and passes out* For you non-HCG programme experts, P3 is when the HCG is totally out of your body and it is completely safe to eat all the junk food, carbs, sugar, fat, ANYTHING again that you have been depriving yourself of over the last x amount of days that you were shooting up. 

Wait, that's not right...it's 3 weeks of Atkins-like eating (proteins, fats, veggies, and  select fruits) in order to stabilize your weight. The idea is that if you MAINTAIN (meaning not going more than 2lbs under or over) your last injection weight for 3 weeks, you will be more successful at keeping that weight even if you start to relax your eating a bit more. I think it sounds logical, but S may or may not think it's kind of hokey. 

However my P3 is not a *real* P3 in that in 2.5 weeks I am going back on P2 and the VLCD of horror and  doom (and, subsequently, weight loss).

So while the fact that I lost another .5lb this morning should send me into an alert "I-am-getting-too-close-to-the-limit-of-what-I-can-fluctuate-in-P3" mode, I don't really mind. In fact, if you don't tell anyone....I LIKE it. That puts me at a 11.5lb loss so far! 

I talked to S about it a little this morning and he said since I am still eating well and losing, it is likely due to my new exercise routine, and it's ok. My logic is that + the fact that I am just sort of trying to hover here for a few weeks until I can get back to losing on P2 for another 23 days. I do not want to go OVER my LIW in this 2.5 weeks, but under I can do. I will stabilize for real after my next P2 round. Does that make sense? It does in my head. 

So today I brought more food with me, since I am supposed to up my calories. I have a bit of cheese, and a tad of ranch salad dressing even! No carby stuff, just a little fat added in. I have never been so excited for a spinach, cheese and ranch salad in my life. I don't know how long I am going to be able to hold off before I eat it. We'll see how it effects my weight tomorrow :]

Yesterday's exercise:

1 hour at 3.6 on a 4.5 incline

Yesterday on my plate was:

100g lean beef

1 Grapefruit with Splenda

A chunk of cucumber

~130g of lean beef (uppin' it a little!)

1 apple

4 cups of jasmine green tea

Weight tracking:

-.5lbs today

-11.5lbs change overall

-1.5lbs under LIW

FULL OF ENERGY,

M

VLCD Day #24.5: Introducing...

S and M! And I am not talking about kinky bedroom practices. I thought I'd introduce S and myself... I find it much more gratifying to read blogs when I know the face behind the words. I'd introduce the whole gauntlet, T, H, P, etceteras, but I haven't asked if it was ok. 

So here we are! :]

We are nearly incapable of taking a "normal" picture... but that's just our fun personalities, right? Here's what we *really* look like. When we've been on the top deck of a windy cruise ship.

Bye! :D

VLCD Day #24: Crushed

My car, not my ego. I was rear ended on the way to work today! What a load of crap! The (slightly crazy) lady even had the nerve to get out of her car, look at my bumper, and before I had even stepped foot on the pavement come to my window and say "It's ok! There's no damage! It's alright!" and start to go back to her car. As I got out she was like "Really! See? No damage! It's ok!" and start to wave good bye. 

Oh no. Nooo no no no. I was like "Sorry. It doesn't work like that." and so we pulled over and I got her (expired) insurance and phone number and address and signature in blood and promised me her first grandchild.

I have a moral dilemma here. It's not AWFUL, I could live with it I suppose, but I can see the damage if I go up within a few feet of it. I could be nice, and just let her off, or I could exercise my right as a citizen whose car has been hit and get it fixed and make her pay. Or I could make her pay what it would cost to fix, and buy a video camera which S and I have been jonesing for. Hmmmm. She doesn't have collision  insurance, just liability, so she would be giving me cash out of her pocket. She doesn't have collision insurance but she has a Tom Tom. Which she was staring at when she hit me. Interesting. Her whole "Oh no just forget about it" attitude bugs me. She hit me. It's her fault. Don't try to blow it off like you stepped on my foot, you HIT MY CAR. I had literally been stopped at that light for a full minute when she hit me! It's not like I stopped short or something and I was sort of being a jackass!

Ahem! Anyways! Last night T and I had an impromptu Mardi Gras get together. I had a glass of wine and one of her tiny buffalo wings (meanwhile she had a whole PLATE of buffalo wings, salad with bleu cheese dressing, a loaf of amazing bread in a cheesy vinaigrette, a glass of wine and a girly drink... did I mention she is tiny?), with a tad of ranch dressing on it. Guess what? I didn't gain anything! Neener neener neeeeeener! I am still 1lb under my last injection weight and I feel pretty darn good about that. And I had that on top of my regular 500 calorie intake. 

You know what else I feel pretty darn good about? Working out in the morning. I don't know if I mentioned HOW AMAZINGLY AWESOME IT IS. Srsly. Today is the 3rd day of it, I am not having problems getting up in the morning, and I feel like I am walking on clouds all day until I have to force myself to go to bed even though I am not tired. 

EVERYONE should do this. I think it is my "answer". And by "answer" I mean "fitting exercise into my schedule in a way that doesn't make me want to open fire on a crowd of unsuspecting people". I actually.... wait for it... ENJOY IT. ::gasp::

So today is my last day of 500 calories. I am glad...I can feel the HCG wearing off in the sense that I am starting to get even hungrier. Not starving, but my tummy is rumbling a bit more than when I was on the last of the presumably diluted shots. I upped my calories a bit yesterday and I am going to a bit more today, even though I know you're not actually "supposed" to until 72 hours after your last dose. Just by like 200 calories each day, so I think I'm ok. After all, I did that and drank wine which is NOT on le programme and it didn't bother me. I think the gym time helps too. 

Yesterday's exercise:

1 hour at 3.6 on a 4.5 incline

Yesterday on my plate was:

100g lean beef prepared with Walden Farms BBQ Sauce <--- YUM!

1 Grapefruit with Splenda

A chunk of cucumber

1 glass of Cabernet Sauvignon

1 small (2") buffalo wing dipped in ranch dressing

100g of lean beef in hot sauce and the WF BBQ sauce

4 cups of jasmine green tea

Weight tracking:

-0lbs today

-11lbs change overall

-1lb under LIW

With Mangled Car, But Not Spirits,

M

VLCD Day #23: Off the Juice

So today, day 'o days, was the first morning in almost a month that I haven't been stabbed before going to work. It's a healthy feeling, getting up, getting dressed, and not inserting a needle into your body. 

Speaking of healthy, I have been going to the gym in the morning, before I go to work! Where "have been" means "today and yesterday". But I LOVE it! A big fight between me and the gym is that after work, I am run down and just want to veg and relax. Going to the gym then sucks, because I have close to zero motivation. But going in the MORNING! I have the ability to wake up early, so that's not an issue for me. And I feel so energized all day! EVEN after work! So in essence, it is giving me more productive hours because after work I don't feel like dying on the couch with Spongebob Squarepants and a pint of Haagen Daas. Not that I ever did that anyways, but you get the idea. 

A friend, on Facebook, gave me this quote which I love:

"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing"

-Marsha Doble

Well put, Marsha, you are a wise, wise woman. 

This way, I am also going 5 days a week instead of 4, because I prefer to keep my weekday sleep-schedule the same. No waking up at 6:30 one morning, and then 7:45 the next. That messes with my clock. You know, the one wedged between your heart and your lungs. 

I FEEL EMPOWERED!

That is all :]

Oh wait, no it's not. I lost 1 lb today, but I think I can entirely attribute that to the 4 fiber pills and 2 cups of Smooth Move Tea (yes, the same one that ONE cup made me about DIE) because I realized I hadn't crapped in over a week. Yes, my metabolism REALLY shut down. This break is much needed. 

If you're REALLY paying attention to my blog (and I'm sure no one looks this closely) you'll notice that I added another section to the "Weight tracking" portion of my daily log. LIW = Last Injection Weight. On this programme of programmes, one is not supposed to go 2lbs above or below the weight that they were at when they took their last injection. The reason for this is that you are supposed to stabilize for 3 weeks so your body can set a new "weight point" that it wants to hang around at. If you are fluctuating all over the place during the 3 weeks, this won't happen and you will probably gain it back. Just a little explanation. 

Yesterday's exercise:

1 hour at 3.6 on a 4.5 incline

Yesterday on my plate was:

100g lean beef

1 grapefruit with Splenda

A chunk of cucumber

100g of lean beef over a spinach salad prepared with Walden Farms bleu cheese and Emeril's hot sauce

1 apple

4 cups of green tea

Weight tracking:

-1lb today

-11lbs change overall

-1lb under LIW (last injection weight)

Conqueror of Mornings,

M

VLCD Day #22: The End Is Near

Alright people. I have made a decision. Today is the last day of my injections... for now. 

Let me explain.

For the last week or so I just have not felt good. I have been starving, having major cravings, grumpy, and really run down. Aunt Flo is not due for a visit for quite some time, and I am not sick. 

I think I mixed the last vial of HCG wrong. 

I know I know, you're thinking "But M! Goddess of bacteriostatic water, bringer of HCG! How could YOU ever falter?! For surely if you have, then I, as well, have mixed my HCG incorrectly." but don't fear my shrinking friends, I too make mistakes. You are in the clear. 

Last week I only lost 1.5 lbs. The week before it was 2.5. I could theoretically do about that in a week of heavy exercise and a strict diet. Laying off the weight lifting and only eating 500 calories is ok when I am losing a significant amount of weight and not feeling like crap, but that is not the case here. So either my body gets particularly resistant to this stuff quickly, or I mixed it wrong.

Either way, I think it will be beneficial for me to take a break. This morning I had my last injection for about 3 weeks. I am going to start to transition into P3 on Thursday, which will be 72 hours after my last injection. S will then finish another week, which will bring him to the minimum of 23 days on the injections since he started a week after me. Then he will join me on my quest for the holy grail, I mean, stabilization on P3, and we will start the second half of our injections on March 14th.

I have read that many people have better luck on the shorter rounds, and the average losses are a lot higher. I don't mind waiting another 3 weeks to drop the next 10 lbs that I want to lose, especially if I can keep my sanity.

And really, I feel great about the 10 pounds that I have lost! I bought a pair of size 5 jeans yesterday since my 7s were literally falling off of me! That was pretty great! I just need to see if I have the discipline to stabilize myself now on P3.

Today is another day of carb-heaven here at the office. Why must everything revolve around delicious food!? It's pizza day, which we have once a month, free pizza! All you can eat! Or better yet, just stick it straight down your pants and pack it onto your thighs. ALSO, a co-worker brought in GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (aka the nectar of satan himself) and another brought in the very same SOFT, ICING-LADEN SUGAR COOKIES THAT I WAS CRAVING LAST WEEK. I think if I venture to go near them, I have to get some duct tape and make myself a little belly-belt out of assorted snacks. Kind of like those pregnant suits that sex-ed classes made teenage girls try on so they would abstain. 

Goddammit. 

Willpower is definitely lower when you have decided that you are going to take a break, and you haven't eaten anything besides apples and chicken for the past 3 weeks. But I need to just take a deep breath and realize that a break from HCG cannot equal eating whatever I want on a whim, and gaining back the 10 lbs I have already lost. Breathe. BREATHE, DAMMIT! IN! OUT! IN! OUT! REPEAT! OK! THERE!

I'm going to keep updating this of course with my P3 adventures, and then on to my next round of shots. So stay tuned for tomorrow, where I eat only 500 calories and NOT take a shot that is supposed to make me full! Wheee! :D

I can get through this. pizza I will get through this. chocolate cake I will be successful. cookies I will PREVAIL! I think I am developing food-tourettes. 

Not Quitting, Just Adjusting,

M

VLCD Day #19: A Beautiful Day In the Neighborhood

One of the perks of living in a state full of plants that can severely injure you and dust instead of grass, is that there are beautiful 73 degree days like today, in February. 

Today for lunch my "team" (as we call our little graphics group at work - I think it's a unity boosting thing) went to lunch at a little outdoor farm on the side of a mountain. It was AMAZING outside. And as I passed the smorgasbord of chocolate-peanut butter cookie bars drizzled in fudge, giant cupcakes doused in coconutty frosting, and mayo-loaded egg salad sandwiches on homemade white bread, I grabbed a raw salad sans cheese and dressing and enjoyed the warmth of the sun on my back. 

And now that I am done blowing sunshine up your arse, I'll have you know that I could have mowed down every bit of that sweet sweet buffet of insulin and cellulite and enjoyed every blissful second of it. 

But really, the weather is fabulous, and the thought of laying out by the pool in my bikini NOT looking like something a fisherman discarded whilst harvesting tuna, made me persevere. I ate my raw lettuce, spinach, cucumber and tomatoes, and contemplated the farce of mixing vegetables and what will happen to me tomorrow morning when I step on the scale. 

I think I did pretty damn good :]

And this morning I lost a pound, which really means that in the last three days I have lost a half of a pound, since I had a gain yesterday. Hopefully I have another "woosh" of weight loss tomorrow to make up for the other .5 lb that I should have lost yesterday and today. I'm on a schedule here people, and .5lbs in 3 days does not translate well on my calendar.

Despite my cynical blog, I am in a great mood :] In fact, I am a very happy-go-lucky, pleasant person. The small portion of my life that you see here is just my inner-thoughts about weight loss, which are considerably more pessimistic than the rest of the workings of my brain :]

Know that, and be happy.

Yesterday's exercise:

Nothing

Yesterday on my plate was:

100g grilled chicken

1/2 of a grapefruit with Splenda

100g of Halibut (YUM!) 

Some celery sticks

1 apple

4 cups of jasmine green tea with Splenda

Weight tracking: 

-1lb today

-10.5lbs change overall

The Human Manifestation of Your Hopes and Dreams,

M

VLCD Day #18: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

So remember how excited-thrilled-ecstatic-HAPPY I was yesterday that I had lost 10 pounds? Well just go ahead and take that all back. 

I.... dun dun DUNNNNNNN.... GAINED half of a pound today putting me right back to where I was the day BEFORE yesterday. So 9.5 pounds it is. Any you KNOW that when I lose that .5lb again, I can't be nearly as excited as I was yesterday about a collective 10 pound loss. 

Thanks, weight, for totally harshing on my sunshine. 

Sure sure it's water accumulating in my now empty fat retainer cells, and in a day or so I will have a sudden weight loss, and I'm still losing inches and really getting thinner. I GET that. I get it I get it I get it. 

I'm not really upset about a gain in general, but TODAY of all days I was hoping to lose. Why? Why you ask? Well I am glad you did. I was hoping to lose today, because yesterday I felt like complete and utter shit and I wanted it to be for SOMETHING. I was sooo tired, and hungry, and stressed at work, and craving an emming effing burrito. 

Oh well, another pound, another day. :]

Yesterday's exercise:

Walked for 1 hour at 3.3 on a 4.5 incline

Yesterday on my plate was:

100g beef

1/5 of a grapefruit with splenda

100g grilled chicken

2 cups of coffee with 1 Tbsp milk

1 apple

Weight tracking:

+.5lb today (BOOOO)

-9.5lb change overall

Me, Only Heavier,

M

VLCD Day #17: Shapeshifter

The word "shapeshifter" generally incites images in your head of ancient Native American legends, X-Men, or Nickelodeon Gak. But in this case, I'm talking about me.

I noticed this morning, as I have at other periods in my life where I am losing more than a few pounds of weight, that weight loss compared with how good you look is not always linear. Let me explain.

Today I put on a favorite shirt of mine, a shirt I tried on last week and it looked fabulous. Although I am several pounds lighter this week, I think it looked better on me then. Why? Because my waist was more defined last week. It seems that I have lost some weight in my "love handles", making me look more like a block, and less like an hourglass. I'm not complaining, I just feel like I'm at an awkward point. Do we not lose weight all over at a steady rate? It certainly doesn't seem like it. 

Well I told T about the programme last night and she actually took it really well. S said she would, I just didn't know! She is a very all-natural kind of person. She totally understood. I felt good about that :] She said she had been concerned because she realized she never saw me eat or drink anymore, and was worried that I was losing weight in an unhealthy way. 

So everything is peachy here in the life of an M, with the exception of some people at my work being beyond incompetent, but I suppose I deal with that on a daily basis. 

Yesterday's exercise:

Nothing

Yesterday on my plate was:

200g Beef (split between 2 meals

1 serving of cooked onion with my evening beef

1/2 of a grapefruit with Splenda

2 cups of coffee with 1 Tbsp whole milk and Splenda

1 apple with Walden Farms Caramel Dip (yum! and guilt free!)

Weight tracking:

-.5lb today

-10lb change overall (fiesta!)

Irritated At My Co-Workers,

M

VLCD Day #17: DECADE pounds!

If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. If body mass were length of time then today I lost a decade. 

10 POUNDS!

10 POUNDS!

10 POUNDS!

10 POUNDS!

10 POUNDS!

10 POUNDS!

10 POUNDS!

Can you tell that I am excited? So I lost .5lb today! Wheeee! That's great and all but it is overshadowed by the greater good which I am not sure if you caught, but 

I HAVE LOST 10 POUNDS!

And that is all I have to say for this morning :]

More to come in a few hours after I revel in my own glory :]

THIN,

M

VLCD Day #16: On the Road Again

Woooooh I lost another pound again this morning!! To be quite honest with you, I was feeling a little down yesterday about the 2.5lb loss of last week. Not really sad, but like "hey, I'm tired of doing this. I want P3 LIKE NOW OMG GIMME CHEESE". My mind gets rash and I overreact and feel like le programme will no longer work for me because I had a little extra steak on Saturday night. I am SLIGHTLY crazy. But today I feel much better... seeing those numbers move (and putting on pants that used to be tight and fitting PERFECTLY) sure is gratifying. We all have moments of weakness, eh? This weekend will not include things like wine and steak sauce, and I am sure I will lose more than 0 lbs for the effort ;]

So about a month ago I went to Dubai and shopped for literally 12 days straight. I brought home a whole new (smaller than I could fit into) wardrobe, knowing that I was going to lose a bunch of weight. I could put them on, but they just looked tight and awkward. Well those clothes fit now! Everything I put on looks fab. I feel so vain, staring at myself in the mirror but dammit, I'm working for this. It's nice to check out the results. About every man I pass thinks it's nice to check out the results as well. I always tell S that I can tell when my "dieting" is working, because people start staring again. I really don't mind being stared at, I never have. It's a compliment. Except for at the gym. I mean c'mon. You're sweating and panting and everything is wiggling and bouncing in such a strange manner.... it's just not necessary. THAT I can do without. 

Tonight T is coming over and I am going to tell her about le programme of hopes and dreams this time. It's a 1 on 1 thing so I don't have to either corner her in a back room like a creeper or announce it to the world. We told P and H over the weekend and they thought it was cool, H even wants to try it out if I recommend it when I am done. They are getting marred in April... I wish I knew about HCG before we got married, man. It was just a few months before I discovered this, this, launching of oneself into thindom. 

SO SO SO SO Tomorrow! If I lose at least .5lb I will have lost 10 POUNDS!!! OMG YAAAAAY!!!!!

Oh and HI BIZ! :D

Yesterday's exercise:

Walk around the neighborhood with S and the puppies, about 1 mile

Yesterday on my plate was:

2 egg whites with hot sauce

1/2 of a grapefruit with splenda

1 apple

100g of beef

1 cup of coffee with 1 Tbsp whole milk

(yeah I sort of slacked in the veggie department)

Weight tracking:

-1lb today (wooo!)

-9.5lb change overall

Back on the Wagon,

M

VLCD Day #15: DEVIATION!

Here we are again, on the Monday after the weekend. Again, we were out of town, so I couldn't weigh myself on Sunday morning. 

I'm kind of glad.

This weekend was not completely the best diet weekend in the world. I did pretty well though, considering. All the way down to Tucson, I stayed on the programme... even at the gem show I got a chicken caesar salad without the dressing and discarded the cheese and croutons. So basically, chicken, lettuce and 3 tinier than tiny tomatoes. 

Then things went awry. 

We stopped at a wine store and purchased some Valentines celebratory vino. The four of us got 3 bottles. We drank two. For how tipsy I got, you'd have thought I drank both of the bottles by myself, although I only had about 2.5 glasses of it. I don't know for sure because it my glass wasn't empty when it was refilled. I can generally finish a bottle by myself and be comfortably functional between tipsy and drunk, but that is not the case on this madness!

I think it was a combination between the facts that I hadn't (and couldn't) eat anything absorbent all day, and the funky hormones that I am mainlining every morning. I mean I wasn't obliterated or anything, it just snuck up on me. 

Dinner was FANTASTIC! We went to a little restaurant called Kingfisher that is one of S and my favorites from when we lived in T-Town. I had a steak grilled sans butter, and veggies. The problem is that the steak had some sort of (delicious) sauce on it that didn't taste very programme-legal. I was tipsy enough that I didn't really care, and hungry enough that I probably would have bitten anyone's hand off who dared to take it away from me. I ate a bit more than my 100g too, but I gave the rest to S, who is doing a modified version of the programme, as he doesn't need to lose 1lb per day. He "needs" to lost 10 lbs in 43 days. 

I thought I did O.K., but after all the wine and the steak sauce and then the omelette the next morning (prepared with only whites and no cheese or butter) I didn't lose anything this weekend. But that is also O.K. because I didn't gain either.

I stepped on that scale this morning prepping myself for like a 3lb gain, telling myself that it wasn't fat and that it would come right off, but it wasn't even needed! I think that's why I'm not to devastated about the standstill. I totally deserve it. And it was totally worth it. 

I am not going to do it again, but I have been doing so well that it was a welcomed break, and sort of a treat. And the fact that it didn't screw me up just means my stars are aligned and I deserved the treat :] Or at least that's how I would like to look at it thankyouverymuch! And really, I didn't totally bomb or anything, all things considered I was pretty angelic :]

Oh by the way, S got me an AMAZING Valentines Day gift at the gem show... a beautiful Blue Topaz, Amethyst and Diamond necklace. Blue Topaz is my birth stone, and Amethyst is February (V day!) It's so gorgeous! I was totally not expecting that! :D

Yesterday's exercise:

Nothing

Yesterday on my plate was:

1 egg white omelette, prepared with no cheese or butter, only peppers, bits of ham, and onion

2 strawberries

1 piece of canadian bacon (grilled dry)

2 cups of coffee with 2 Tbsp whole milk

1 apple

100g of lean steak 

Weight tracking:

-0lb today

-8.5lb change overall

The Neighborhood Deviant,

M

VLCD Day #12.5: B-A-N-A-N-A-S

About this time every day (or rather about half an hour ago - 3:30pm). I fail. I cannot do "desk" anymore. Suddenly, there is a string on my jeans I need to pick at. Or I have a hangnail that needs immediate attention. I start finding excuses to get up every 5-10 minutes to walk around the office.

I don't think I was made to do this corporate-sit-on-your-ass-all-day-thing. It's more mentally painful than it is physically, even. I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS OFFICE. LIKE NOW. Perhaps if I had a window or something it would be better. I need some fresh air and sunshine. 

On a bright note, I successfully avoided my FAVORITE (and I'm not joking this time) chocolate covered banana from Edible Arrangements. 

I'm not kidding people... if you are ever in the mood for chocolate ANYTHING, get a chocolate covered banana from Edible Arrangements. Rather, you'll have to get like 20 chocolate covered banana chunks in the shape of a bouquet because well, that's what they do. But they are SO GOOD!

But when offered a piece of the bouquet of dreams, I opted for the only programme-legal "flower" on it. A plain strawberry. How very valiant/boring of me. 

Not to mention I got a Valentine Heart Box of chocolates from one of our executives. So now I have 4 truffles nestled safely in the depths of my desk for a brighter, more sugar-filled day. C'mon people, it's not like I'm NEVER going to eat sugar again. I wasn't going to toss it or anything. Maybe I'll just forget about it. Interesting fact: this executive is one of the ones who did HCG! 

This weekend S and I are going on (yet another) trip out of town. Yaaaaaay! We are going to the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show! It is faaaaantastic. We are going with another couple-friend of ours, H and P, and staying at a fancy resort. 

Assuming that H and P do indeed need to eat sometime over the course of two days, we are going to have to tell them about the programme. Especially since it is Valentine's weekend and we won't be partaking in any delicious-fancy-restaurant-action. This is ok, but again we have to pack our cooler o' shit, and lug it around with us. Woooo.

BUT! It is a very small price to pay for how I am starting to look and feel. And I have a feeling they will be pretty open-minded to the news :]

World (State) Traveller Extraordinaire, 

M

VLCD Day #12: Another One Bites the Dusttaaaaaahhh

Another pound down, another pound down, another pound bites the dustttaaaaahhhhh!

Yeah you read that right. I'm awesome. I was a tad concerned, because at girl's night I had a few sips of WINE. ZOMG. I read on www.happilythinnerafter.com that some people don't find any fault (read: stalls) in substituting their fruit for the day for a glass of wine or two. So, while I don't necessarily think it's healthy to do OFTEN since you need the nutrients that you get from fruit, since you're eating so little, every once in a while it is quite an attractive bargain. I thought I could do it....

I ate my orgasmic half of a grapefruit for breakfast yesterday... or rather the meal closest to the morning, and then saved my apple to see if I wanted wine at girl's night. I thought I could do it. When T handed me a glass (she still doesn't know) and said it was a really good wine, I thought, "Ok, I sorta planned on this." And had a sip. She was right, it WAS a really good wine. 

But then I looked down at my newly flat stomach and my thinner thighs and immediately felt guilty. But I pressed on. Over all, I had about 4 or 5 small sips, and then just couldn't do it. I put the glass down (by this time everyone else had drank a few and there were wine glasses all over the place, so no one noticed) and ate my apple :]

I was proud of me :]

I also drank a ton of extra water, because after a night of wine indulgence I usually am SO bloated the next day. I guess it's silly to think the same would happen with a few sips versus, like, 4 glasses, but I was being cautious.

Looks like I did ok! :]

Yesterday's exercise:

Nothing

Yesterday on my plate was:

100g chicken with cooked onions

Half of a grapefruit with Splenda

4 or 5 sips of Cabernet Sauvignon

100g filet mignon with cooked onions

1 apple

Weight tracking:

-1lb today

-8.5lb change overall

Feeling Fantastic, 

M

VLCD Day #11.5: I'll Never Recover

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round. Closer. A little bit closer... OK OK not that close, please, back off. There. 

I just had a near death experience. 

Please pause for a moment to let that sink in. 

There I was at work. Just having finished my delicious reheated chicken and onions that I made last night. My cell, er, I mean cube mate, H, let me use some delicious Poblano hot sauce that her boyfriend loves. 

It was delicious.

But that's not all. After eating said spicetastic meal, twas a tad thirsty. I thought, "Hey. I have already had 2 cups of green tea, and 2 cups of water. It's tea time again, I do believe." So off to my regular water cooler/heater I journey. Only to find it EMPTY. 

Panicking, I look around me. Lil' ole me of a small 5'1" stature does not stand a chance changing the giant Sparkletts water tank myself, and even if I could, the water would not have time to reach the near boiling temperature I needed in order to brew my tea of green. 

So then I was off. Off to the faaar far water cooler slash heater all the way in the community break room. It's not so bad, I can stand for a little walking. That also gives me a chance to stop for the 32nd over-hydration induced bathroom break of the day. 

I take care of my business. I continue on my way.

As I approach the break room, I start to smell the familiar aromas of day-old reheated fish, and bags of burnt popcorn. But there is something else in the air. Something much, much, more tantalizing. 

I creep up warily, not knowing what I will find. Driven by my desire for hot tea, I enter the break room.....and then

BAM! 

Literally THOUSANDS (read: tens) of slices of DELICIOUS LOOKING CAKE await me on the tables. There were CHOCOLATE (my favorite) and CARROT (my favorite) and WHITE (my favorite) hunks of cakey and icing-y goodness staring up at me, oh so innocently from the tables. So I ogle them back, breathing in their silky sweet aroma, feeling the pounds accumulate on my thighs as I inhale the calories. 

And then I did something truly, truly, earth shattering.

I walked right up to that table of answered prayers and I flipped those cakes off. Once! Twice! THREE TIMES!! And the last time I even added a big "UMPFH!"

I then refocused on my original antioxidant rich yet calorie-free goal, and sauntered right over to the water cooler/heater.

I had succeeded. 

Let this be a lesson to you all. I DO have willpower of steel. Which I get to exercise again tonight at girls night, which will be filled with wine and pizza. I will reign supreme. 

Leaper of Tall Buildings in a Single Bound,

M

(Ps. I thought it important to note: During that 48th bathroom break of the day, I noticed I had my panties on backwards and inside out. Yes, I re-oriented them.)

I just got the STRONGEST craving for soft sugar cookies with loads of icing. GO AWAY AUNT FLO!!!

VLCD Day #11: They Don't Taste Like Grapes, Though

O...M...G.....the gym helped SO much! I felt so fabulous afterwards. I want to go EVERY DAY. I know that's not feasible because I have such a busy life, but every day that I can! I actually felt euphoric afterwards, like someone had injected happy sauce directly into my brain. 

My gym pants are quite loose. Which is a) nice because it signifies that I am losing weight, and b) annoying because the last thing you want to have to do while you are working out is hike your pants up every 5 steps. I'm sure everyone around me is all "GEEZ! JUST GET SOME PANTS THAT FIT ALREADY YOU HUSSY!" Im SORRY if my butt crack peeked out once or twice, I'm tryin' here!

But... small price to pay for weight loss! Woot woot! Yes, you cycle away behind me on your elliptical listening to bad 90s music and re-living your youth, I have a secret that would change your LIFE... if you didn't think I was crazy! Bwa ha ha hahahaaaaaaaa.

Speaking of thinking I'm crazy... I told my Dad about this programme of insanity this morning. He was actually really interested! My family has always been extremely weight-conscious... not necessarily always successful at it, but conscious. My parents have tried every diet under the sun, from Atkins to Cabbage Soup. Like me, it never really worked. Except the whole I'm-Not-Going-To-Eat-At-All-Throughout-My Highschool-Career-Diet that killed my metabolism. He listened to what I told him about it, congratulated me on my weight loss, and inquired about the price and where to get it. I think he would be really good at this...thing, he is really diligent about sticking to them, as long as they work. And boooy does this work.

I lost another .5lb this morning! Party tiiiiime in my (loose) pants! I also re-discovered grapefruit yesterday. OMG. I thought I had died. I used to eat it all the time, but somehow along my unhealthy way, I decided I liked bagels for breakfast better. And donuts. And chocolate. (kidding). But it was deleeeeectable. I sliced that puppy in half and put it in the most adorable pink with white polka-dot oversized tea cup that my Grandma gave me for Christmas, doused it in Splenda and scooped it out and had little orgasms in my mouth for a good 10 minutes. And I brought the other half for lunch today. I'm going to eat it RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!

Yesterday's exercise:

1 hour walk at 3.3 on a 4.5 incline

15 minute walk at 3.3

Yesterday on my plate was:

Buffalo Chicken Salad (100g chicken and veggie portion - lettuce, green onion and celery)

An apple

Half of a grapefruit with Splenda

100g of Filet Mignon cooked with onions 

Weight tracking:

-.5lb today

-7.5lb change overall

Your Friendly Neighborhood Needle Junky,

M

VLCD Day #10.5: Fat....Or Fab?

Ugh. I do NOT feel good and skinny and healthy right now like I did for the past few days. I think that maybe the Walden Farms products are too...too....not-real for P2 of this programme of hopes and dreams. Don't get me wrong...it's delicious...but maybe for afterwards. Especially 2 meals in a row. Just kinda don't feel as good as when I was NOT eating it. Maybe I had too much of it too... the recipe called for 1/4 of a cup and it ended up being a lot of sauce. Maybe if I used sparingly...

I feel icky and fat and bloated today. Maybe it's placebo because the damn scale decided it was going to eat my sunshine for the day, or maybe I'm retaining water that Flo is pouring down my throat, or maybe it's the Walden Farms dressing of anarchy and pain.

I hope the gym today fixes that, it usually does.

Bleh,

M

VLCD Day #10: The Day The Earth Stood Still

The Earth didn't move today. It didn't go up or down or even waver a tiny bit. The Earth is frustrating sometimes, but I know there has to be days like this, it can't move every day! That just wouldn't be natural! Although I do have to say, if the Earth decides that it isn't going to budge tomorrow either, I may have to kick it's ass. 

Now substitute every instance of "the Earth" for "my weight". 

*le sigh* 

It's ok though. I'm about due, I think, losing so quickly and all. I'm also a bit more bloated today (I always gauge by how my rings fit). Sometimes when Aunt Flo starts to pack her things, she gets depressed and starts to drink heavily or something and III get to retain the water. And hey! Maybe I'm losing inches, right? Maybe? Please?

So a tiny voice in the back of my head says "Hey! M! You've been mixing veggies and trying new things and that is BAAAAD", but the logical part of my brain says "that's a bunch of excuses you placate yourself with when the scale doesn't go down" I don't think that having celery with my lettuce is srsly going to stop me from losing weight. Really? REALLY?

So last night I bought some delicious Warner Farms products to spice up our food with a bit (I am now saying OUR because S is on his very first VLCD day today! Woooo give a round of applause to S!) I made a Buffalo Chicken Salad that was on www.happilythinnerafter.com and it was OMG SO GOOD! 10x better even than the Chinese Chicken Salad, which was still delicious. Here is thine recipe:

Chopped romaine lettuce

Celery, chopped

1 Chopped green onion

Emeril's Wing Sauce

Walden Farms Bleu Cheese Dressing

100g chicken, marinated in the wing sauce for an hour

The Walden Farms and the Emeril's both have 0 calories, 0 fat, 0 sugar, 0 carbs, and it's natural. Weird, huh? It's made with like, water and flavorings and magic. 

So you make your salad and put the cooked chicken over it, and then combine 1/4 cup of the Walden Farms dressing with 1 Tbsp of the Emeril's sauce, and pour it over.

O....M....G. It tastes JUST like hot wings. Not even exaggerating. I will DEFINITELY eat this after the programme o' programmes is complete. S made a good point, not only are we losing weight, but we are finding good meals to eat when this is over, that are both delicious and completely guilt free!

Yesterday's exercise:

None

Yesterday on my plate was:

Chinese Chicken Salad (100g chicken and veggie portion - cabbage and lettuce)

A tomato with salt

Buffalo Chicken Salad (100g chicken and veggie portion - lettuce, green onion and celery)

An apple with Splenda and cinnamon

1 cup of Pretty Darn Good coffee

Weight tracking:

-0lb today

-7lb change overall

Me-Being-The-Same-Weight-As-Yesterday,

M

VLCD Day #9.5: Chicken de China, de Chinese Chicken...

I just had my delicious Chinese Chicken Salad for lunch today! I think next time I will use a bit less vinegar. Because although the burning sensation in my stomach MIGHT be it doing it's vinegary job by cleaning out my insides, it's not the most pleasant sensation in all of the world. 

I drank some coffee this morning... we had an early meeting and they had EINSTEIN BROS CATERED IN. Trying to kill me? I believe they are. What I wouldn't do for a tasty toasted bagel slathered with more cream cheese than any one human being should eat in a sitting. 

But alas, I reached straight for the black coffee. I wasn't going to miss out on treating myself SOMEHOW! So I had some Splenda in that coffee and by golly it was pretty darn good (HAR HAR SEE WHAT I DID THURR? EINSTEIN BROS PRETTY DARN GOOD COFFEE). One thing that I have noticed since I DRANK said coffee, is that I am not able to gulp water like I've lived seven years in the desert with a dry mouth and only beef jerky paired with sheer will to choke it down my throat. ...Although now that I think of it...I HAVE lived in the desert almost 6 years, though I have been provided with plenty of hydration, compliments of the water tables we are bent on depleting here in our fine state. I'm not even kidding. When I lived in Tucson, a big intersection by my house suddenly sank 2 feet one day without warning. We had DRAINED IT. 

But what's a little more asphalt to fill it in, right? At least we can have grass in our sand-ridden yards where it never should be naturally possible! 

S emailed me today saying that he felt kind of spacey and was yawning a lot. Anyone else report this during their initial days of HCG? I yawned, but didn't feel spacey. No more than normal, anyways. 

All and all the day is going well, Aunt Flo seems to be starting to pack up her things, so nothing much to report here. Everything is juuuust peachy!

THE END!

M

(Ps. I'd like to note that S and I do not have grass in our yard, though many of our neighbors do)

VLCD Day #9: La La-La La La La Life Is WONDERFUL

If you haven't heard "Life Is Wonderful" by Jason Mraz, you are missing out. In fact for every one song you haven't heard by Jason Mraz, your life is deducted 1 happy point on a Complete Happiness Scale of 1: being deeply depressed, to 10: being the happiest person to ever exist. Depending on your expertise in all things Jason Mraz, you may be in the negative. And THAT is no way to live, people. I, for one, am so much in the EXTREME positive that my cup runneth over, which I shall share with you, faithful readers, until you fulfill your full happiness potential via Jason Mraz music. 

In other (possibly more relevant) news, I RELEASED another pound today! This time I took it to a nice wooded area next to a lake, with plenty of vegetation and various wildlife to eat, so I am sure it will be fine. I may go back and check on it from time to time, but I assure you I don't want it in my life again. Maybe I'll see it someday in a new home, on the woman in the drive-through line at McDonalds. Or the guy walking into the Krispy Kreme shop perhaps. I will smile faintly, and perhaps wave in acknowledgement of our time together, but shall I invite it back? Nay, nay I say. It's in a better place.

Last night I made a Chinese Chicken Salad that I found in the Phase 2 recipe section of www.happilythinnerafter.com. It was really good! I modified the sauce a bit though, 1/4 cup of Splenda seemed like a TON.  Here was my recipe:

Salad:

1 serving of chicken, sautéed and chopped

1/3 cup chopped lettuce

1/3 cup chopped cabbage

Sauce (enough for 3 or 4 salads):

A bit under 1/2 cup rice vinegar

1.5 Tbsp Worchestershire sauce (no sugar, no carbs)

6 Splenda packets

Mix the sauce well and microwave for about 30 seconds, pour 1/4 of it over the salad, and save the rest for another 3 or 4 salads!!

YUM! And SO easy! I also tried making Cinnamon Sugar Apples. They were delish too. Definitely dessert worthy.

1 apple, cut into bite sized chunks

1.5 packets of Splenda, sprinkled evenly over the apple chunks

Cinnamon to your heart's content, sprinkled over the apples

Then microwave the apple for about a minute and a half (until hot and kind of soft) and OMG. It's like apple pie or something. 

I will definitely be repeating this one as well! It's so good I can envision myself eating this after this madness is over too, for a sweet snack. I am REALLY excited to try more of the recipes on that site, the people there are so full of awesome ideas!

I think I am going to start documenting not what is on my plate for today, but what I ate yesterday. With all these new recipes I never know what I am going to have for dinner, when I blog mid-day! 

Yesterday's exercise:

Walked for 1 hour at 3.3 on a 4.5 incline

Walked for 20 minutes at 3.0 

Yesterday on my plate was:

A chunk of cucumber

100g lean beef

A tomato with salt

Chinese Chicken Salad (100g chicken and veggie portion - cabbage and lettuce)

An apple with Splenda and cinnamon

4 cups of jasmine green tea

Weight tracking:

-1lb today

-7lbs change overall

Yours Shrinking (no really, I am SHRINKING) Truly,

M

VLCD Day #8: Walkin' on Sunshine

Hellooooooo my beautiful, fit, intelligent, savvy readers! (yes that encompasses all of you, I am not directing this to a subsection ;])

Today is a beautiful day. Not only am I down 1 more pound from the weekend, but I am starting to look amazing if I do say so myself! It's hard for me to tell the difference with my clothes off because all I see is "too fat", but when I put clothes on and see how loose my pants are and how fabulously small my waist looks, I rejoice. S notices the loss more when I'm naked. I wonder why THAT is :] He loves me at this weight. In fact, he loves me at my pre HCG weight. And not like a you're-my-wife-and-even-if-you-were-100-lbs-overweight-I'd-still-love-you kind of love, but an I-really-go-crazy-over-your-body kind of love. While I don't see eye to eye with him (obviously, which is why I am participating in this madness), he makes me feel like the most beautiful, sexy, woman in the world, and for that (and about a bajillion other reasons), I love him a MILLION times over. Sometimes it's hard for me to understand how he feels this way, he's into body building and has the most perfect, built, muscular, gorgeous body in the world, so you'd think he'd want the tiny, (society's version of) perfect, body on his wife. But luckily for me, he likes his women with curves :] Sorry, sometimes I have to gush a little about my amazing husband. 

So yes! Everything is going swimmingly. Now I KNOW that I probably won't keep up this extreme rate of weight loss through the entire programme, but it's been a nice boost for the first week. S expects me to lose about 20lbs. My final goal weight is 28 lbs away from my starting weight (so now 22), but that may be unrealistic for 43 days, and I am aware of that. If it is, I will adjust my mindset as necessary. And really, that's just a number I'm shooting for that looked really great on me before, but that was high school so it may not be feasible. Also, I have put on a lot of muscle since S has me doing squats, dead lifts and bench press (the HEAVY weights, with the big bar and plates, not little 10lb hand weights n' such) so I may be too small at that weight. Just looking at myself in the mirror, I would guess that I was about 8lbs lighter than I actually am, judging from my pre-weight lifting days. I haven't weighed myself in about a year - something that helps my quality of life a lot - I generally judge my weight by how my clothes fit and try not to fixate on numbers. 20lbs may be perfect. 

S started his injections today too! Today and tomorrow are his loading days (LUCKY!!!). He doesn't really have weight to lose, but he says he thinks he will lose about 10lbs. I don't think he has that much fat on him, period! Well he injected himself this morning, my brave brave man, like it was nothin'. It will be fun to do this together :]

Well my hunger is officially GONE! And I mean gone gone! (does that mean I "realeased" my hunger? Does it?!) I mean, it's almost noon and I just picked up my cucumber to start munchin', not because I was hungry but because the idea of not eating for so long scares me a little. Slowing down my metabolism is not going to help my post-programme success at all. I need to keep things movin'! 

I don't actually really like cucumbers all that much. They need a lot of salt, and their texture beneath the skin is a little weird to me, but I can do it. Usually I eat thin slices and that's fine...especially with a little seasoning salt. But this chunk thing I am eating more out of necessity than taste. Ugh. Definitely. *gags*

OH!!! OH!!! I almost forgot about something AWESOME!!! A friend at the cabin this weekend brought this amazing little all-natural tablet called Miracle Fruit that makes sour things taste like you're munching on Jolly Ranchers. I am not even kidding. You let it dissolve on your tongue (it takes like 45 seconds - and tastes pretty godawful), moving it around to coat as much of it as you can. Then, you have super altered taste buds for the next half hour to hour! It's like a party in your mouth, without the embarrassing stories the next day. 

Here is a site to get it at.

We sampled lemon slices, orange slices, grapefruit slices, and even VINEGAR and they all tasted DELICIOUS and CANDY SWEET! This is AWESOME if you're craving sweet things like candy. Also they said it makes Guinness (my favorite beer!) taste just like a chocolate milkshake. I didn't try that of course, but I can't wait to. I am not exaggerating the awesomeness of this, srsly, TRY IT. 

Ok well I should probably get SOME work done today, so for now, I will bid you adieu :]

Yesterday's exercise: 

None

Today on my plate is:

A chunk of cucumber

An apple

A tomato

100g lean beef

100g chicken

Some onions cooked with the chicken

4 cups of jasmine green tea

Weight tracking:

-1lb today

-6lbs change overall

Your Deliriously Happy Patron of the HCG,

M

VLCD Day #7: Cabin Fever

Good mooooorning snow!! We woke up in Strawberry this morning to TONS of delicious snow all over EVERYTHING. It's so beautiful. I hadn't seen snow yet this winter, living in Arizona will do that to ya. S and I got one of the three bedrooms since we're married. I didn't realize we got such perks, we hadn't been on a group trip since we got hitched (3 months ago)! We're relatively young (I'm 24 and S is 27) so most of our amigos are not married.

So I'm not really sure how we are going to get home.... There is currently 6 inches of snow covering everything. If not I may REALLY starve, I only have chicken rations left for today, and cucumber supplies are getting low. I may have to resort to the famed and feared, possibly stall-enabling ORANGES. Not to mention I don't have a shot for tomorrow. I didn't predict getting SNOWED IN. Geez, I'm so ill prepared. Oh HCG gods, merciful lords, please forgive my carelessness, I shall never forsake you again...

Hopefully we can get home and I don't even have to worry about it. We've had a fantastic time here though, it's been a blast :) I've stuck hardcore to the programme... Despite all the delicious alcohol and rice krispy treats and chocolate covered espresso beans and various other community party food floating around. Here I sit, black coffee in hand, conquering temptation one tortilla at a time. Oh wait, I had an extra apple last night around 2am... I was seriously about to faint from low blood sugar... I don't think Dr. Simeons planned on us staying up all night when the diet was planned out. So if I don't lose tomorrow because of it, that's ok with me, because at least I didn't pass out and crack my head open on the floor. I wouldn't lose much weight being force fed in a hospital, would I.

There's no way for me to weigh myself here, besides the LOADED SYRINGE I had to pack, bringing a scale would have been even more of a pain. I had to keep that syringe pretty concealed... I don't want my friends thinking I'm a closet heroin junky or something, even a shrinking heroin junky. Just gotta get my fix man! My FIX!!

Maybe it's better that I can't weigh today, with Aunt Flo in town I may not lose, or even GAIN! While I know I could totally take it (be strong!) it would be nicer to not have to :) Maybe by tomorrow Flo will getting tired of my place and start to contemplate leaving.

Well despite how fantastic typing a whole blog entry on an iPhone is, I shall go and enjoy the rest of our time here... which.... hopefully, won't be for several more days. I don't think anyone wants this blog to turn into the tragic documentation of the last days of my life, starving to death from the lack of HCG compatible food.

Your Faithful Shrinking Blogger,
M

VLCD Day #6: Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Its Off to Strawberry We Go..

S and I are currently on our way to a little town in the mountains called Strawberry! It's my friend H's 30th birthday, so about 20 of us are going to go play around in a (not so roughin' it, actually quite fancy) cabin for the remainder of the weekend. We fit so much crap into the back of S's little Scion that you'd think we were moving out. So who knows, we may not come back *shifty eyes*

Actually we have to come back, because I have a contract with the devil which I signed in blood and promised our firstborn to, that I would complete 43 days of stabbing myself and starvation. So I'm sort of bound.

Speaking of, packing up my HCG for tomorrow morning was interesting... I read some threads about travelling with it on www.happilythinnerafter.com, and sort of pieced together my own ideas from that. So I loaded a syringe with the magical elixir from the fountain of youth and placed the cap back on the needle. I then wrapped said syringe ever so gently in tissue and placed the whole package in a hard sunglasses case. Perfect fit! The case then went into a ziplock baggie and into our ice chest nestled right between the champagne that I will not be drinking and the tortillas I will not be eating. Oh no, no no. All IIII need is a tiny little squirt of tear drops from a unicorn and suddenly I am INVINCIBLE against the draws of carbohydrates and liquor. INVINCIBLE I tell you!

Well on to relevent matter... I "released"(godammit) 1 lb into the poor unsuspecting world today. My loss, their gain. HAR HAR HAR SEE WHAT I DID THURR?? DIDJA???? I was quite pleased. OH! AAAND Aunt Flo (read: time of the month) came to visit today, and I've been reading everywhere that you don't lose well on it. I can tell I'm a bit bloated, my friggin' toe ring wouldn't even go on this morning! So perhaps I've lost even MORE than 1lb and I'm just retaining water?? Yeah?? Think so??? :D Time (approx. a week) will tell. Time will tell.

So. My meat is all pre-cooked and places in serving-sized baggies, we are all packed up and currently on the road out of the city. Oh yeah, I'm typing this on my iPhone... Now THAT'S dedication, people.

Yours Ever So Truly,
M

VLCD Day #5.5: I Hereby Declare...

...today, to be national no-hunger day.

Because since I'm not hungry, no one is, right? Isn't that the egocentric way to view the world? THANK GOD I'm not that deluded. 

But really! I'm good! Fine! Nope, don't need that second fruit just yet! It was noon before I even realized I hadn't eaten my apple yet. It was 2:30 before I realized it was way past lunch time and I should probably eat my delicious re-heated, somewhat tasteless, chicken breast portion. Which I had to eat with my hands. Because I forgot to bring a fork. Reppin' the cave woman style. I feel ever so primitive. 

I was ever-so-gently schooled today on www.happilythinnerafter.com that my loss today was nothing abnormal and I shouldn't be such a maniac. Of course they didn't say that, they are all really really sweet over there. If you haven't checked it out yet you should... there is a WEALTH of knowledge (I'm talkin' like a year's salary worth, not a paycheck or two), and really really supportive members and moderators. 

I ALSO learned that the tomato-a-day I have been eating is actually a FRUIT (which, of course, I KNEW tomatoes were fruits but you know how weird and ambiguous and easy to forget that is) and I should be subbing that for one of my apples, which may be harmful to eat two in one day. Unless, of course, you are doing an apple day, where you eat six. *Ponders*

So! I am changing my diet up to include one apple and one tomato a day as my fruits, and for my veggies to be cucumber slices during the day, and onion cooked with my evening FLESH (gross - I don't know why I just said that). 

By the way the beef and onion and garlic and chili powder concoction of wonder that I cooked last night was PURE AMAZINGNESS. I hope to (insert your holy being here) that's not what made me lose so little. 

wait...NO! NOOOO! NO! BAD M! BAAAAD! I didn't lose "so little" today. I lost just fine thankyouverymuchMEEEEE. Psssh. 

All of the ingredients are on the "morally acceptable" list, and the amounts were proper too. The only thing I haven't eaten until then was the onion. And the garlic. And the chili powder. Ok maybe the only thing I HAD eaten was the beef. Dammit I hope I am not "resistant" to any of that because those are what I love best! I love aaaanything that makes you reek for several days after you eat it. 

BUT NO! I didn't lose little. So all of those things are fine. Just fiiiiiine *crazy eye*.

Less Insanity Tomorrow - I Promise,

M

Oh I just wanted to add, that it was my Snack Friday at work (my invention - someone brings in snacks every Friday for all the participants to enjoy - it rotates) and I brought in mini Ben n Jerry's single-serving ice creams for everyone, and I didn't even have the urge to have one. Not at all! *proud*

VLCD Day #5: SUSPICIOUS!

Well I successfully evaded all wine and chicken and cheese nachos last night at "happy-but-not-delicious-or-tipsy-hour" with T. Oh and home made guac. Mmmmmmmm...

So I didn't tell her about my "programme" (spelled the foreign way to make me feel extra cool). I think I'll wait until.... a little longer. Really, we are going to a cabin this weekend with like 20 other people, and I don't want it to slip out in a moment of drunkenness (which will not be mine of course since alcohol is strictly forbidden), and then I have to explain it to EVERYBODY, not just whom I deem worthy of such knowledge. I don't mind if people know I'm on a "diet", just not this particular one. Until I look fabulous, of course, and they're all like "oooh, wooow, M, what DID you do you look FAB!" and I'll be like "Oh yes yes, I know, I really do don't I, I'm just so fabulous, so wonderful" and they'll be all "Oh M, tell us your secret! Your divine way of the gods that made you so fabulously fabulous, DO tell. ANYTHING! I'll do ANYTHING!" and I'll be all "Ok well it all started with..."

...Ahem. I got a little carried away there, didn't I. 

Anyhoo... back to cruel cruel reality... I "only" lost .5 lb today. Now I KNOW that sounds ridiculous to the average dieter and a reason for at least half a tub of Ben and Jerry's as celebration, but it was after only my 4th day of VLCD! Isn't the first week when you are supposed to see these extreme losses and then it sort of slows down from there? Huh?? HUH?!

I'm sure I'm (mildly) flipping out for no reason. Everyone's different, and I know I started out pretty small....but I went to www.happilythinnerafter.com's journal area and looked at everyone else's first week of weight loss, and everyone's lbs were flying off! 

Breathe. Just breathe. 

I know this is normal for other weeks, but it was this first, holy, golden week of pride and fairies and patriotism that is supposed to get you jump started to last through 43 days of roller coasters and pulling your hair out.

S says it's because I didn't walk yesterday, but SO many people to this programme without any exercise whatsoever, so I tend to disagree. I mean I WISH it was that, and that if I walked every day I'd guarantee a 1-2 lb weight loss, but in the end, it's probably the nuances of different people's bodies, and the fact that I was pretty average sized and exercised and ate pretty healthily to begin with. 

Yesterday's exercise:

Nothing unless you count gabbing with your best friend for a few hours

Today on my plate is:

100g of lean, trimmed steak

100g of chicken breast

1 apple

1 tomato

some cucumber slices

some onion

4 cups of jasmine green tea

Weight tracking:

-.5lbs today

-4lbs change overall

Magically suspicious (sung to the tune of the Lucky Charms jingle),

M

VLCD Day #4.5: Sunshine and Rainbows

Today, not much to report. Not really hungry, feel great, just an overall sense of well-being. I suppose that is GREAT to report, but it makes for a very boring blog entry. I'm going to "happy hour" with my best friend today...I put that in quotations because usually it involves lots of wine and delicious food...UNTIL NOW (dramatic "DUN DUN DUNNNNNN").

She actually doesn't know about this... thing I am doing. I am hesitant to tell people because a lot of them react adversely (as I did when I first learned about the... program. PROGRAM! A-HA! THAT IS THE PERFECT THING TO CALL THIS MONTH OF... MONTHS!). Telling someone who cares about you that you are eating 500 calories per day and shooting yourself up with hormones every morning doesn't always go over well. She also is naturally thin and doesn't struggle with her weight. I love the girl but she is QUITE opinionated (which is part of why I love her so much) and I think I'll have to ease her into this one with lots of wine (while I watch). I don't think it will go over well. But we'll see. I could be surprised! (Hi T! If you ever read this :]) 

Well, loyal readers (is there anyone out there?), I will return tomorrow, when I am thinner, and even more fabulous.

All the Best,

M

VLCD Day #4: Chippin' Away!

Wooooooh! Another 1.5 lbs down this morning! I wanted to do a happy dance. In fact, I DID do a happy dance. Naked. In our bathroom. S was asleep so he didn't have to see the horrors (although between you and me, he woulda liked it ;]).

It's been a pretty friggin' good morning and it's only 9:29 yet! I blasted the new Moby album and danced in my car all the way to work. I even let people merge in front of me in traffic. I KNOW, RIGHT?!!?

I am not famished this morning. I don't know whether to take this as a good sign or a bad sign. In my past, whenever I am dieting and not hungry, it means my metabolism has slowed down and I am no longer losing weight at a rapid rate. Depending on what this HCG business REALLY does, hopefully we won't have that problem this time. 

Yesterday I didn't want to be hungry. Today I'm scared that I'm not hungry. Oh weight loss, you are a cruel, cruel mistress. 

I definitely look visibly thinner. S noticed it (he always notices before me) and III noticed it too! I feel great :D I'm really loving this so far (apart from the fantasy I've been having about nachos with that spicy, creamy, fake, delicious cheese that you get at ball games or the movies). 

Yesterday's exercise:

20 min walk around the neighborhood with S and the dogs. 

Today on my plate is:

100g of lean, trimmed steak

100g of chicken breast

2 apples

Onion cooked with my beef and some garlic

4 cups jasmine green tea

Weight tracking:

-1.5lbs today

-3.5 change overall

Over and thinner and out,

M

VLCD Day #3.5: All Quiet On The Western Front

Nothing much to report this afternoon... EXCEPT THAT I DROVE RIGHT INTO A HUGE FIGHT ON THE WAY BACK TO WORK FROM THE POST OFFICE!

Well the aftermath of, really. And at the time I had no idea what was going on. I had the good sense to snap a cam phone photo of it... that was not even 1/4 of the cop cars there. I counted between 30 and 40 from where I was sitting alone! Those and the fire truck, and ambulances, and the helicopter flying overhead. Can't say I wasn't a bit freaked out, traffic was not moving and I was right next to it and I'll state again importantly I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. LITTLE OLE ME SITTING IN THE CRAPPIEST PART OF CRAPPY TOWN AMIDST HULABALOO AND CHAOS AND ANARCHY!!111!1!! If I didn't burn like 6 lbs of fat from anxiety alone then I'll feel totally jipped.

So I sat there for 15 minutes not moving because cops were starting to swarm around the line of traffic I was in, biting my proverbial nails and gritting my proverbial teeth never having wished I was back in the office more than at that moment. 

Srsly. My losses tomorrow have got to be huge. C'mon HCG gods, take pity on me and my strife.

It was a strange day for driving M today, I saw a dead man on the highway on the way to work, motorcycle accident. I can only hope that I and everyone around me makes it home from work.

Purveyor of chaos, catalyst of fury,

M

Oh p.s I'm not hungry anymore :]

VLCD Day #3: Sweet Release

So according to some of the HCG sites I have visited, I am not supposed to say I am "losing" weight. Evidently this has some sort of negative connotation in your brain, so your body tries to hold on to your fat.

So let me get this straight. If I say I want to LOSE weight, my body somehow goes into freakout-I-don't-want-to-LOSE-anything-DON'T-TAKE-PART-OF-ME-AWAY-PLEASE-I-LIKE-ME-JUST-FINE-mode, and I don't "lose" a pound, no matter how hard I workout, how carefully I diet? Let me ask you. If you go get liposuction, and they take out 10 lbs, and you say "I lost weight" your body will suddenly, without explanation, gain 10 lbs back in order to not have "lost" anything??

Does this sound sane to you?

So this morning, according to what I have read, I RELEASED 2 lbs into the world. Fare well, 2 lbs, I hope you find your rightful place, hopefully on, say, Nicole Richie (who in my opinion looked AMAZING about 10 lbs heavier) and not back on my ass. I promise I didn't lose you, I let you go. LET YOU GO! BE FREE! GO!

So if any of you find the 2 lbs I released out there in the world, do yourself a favor and leave it be. It never did me any good, and it won't you, either.

This morning I woke up and was feeling pretty good. I hopped on the scale and saw the lbs gone, and of course felt fantastic. Took my shot as normal, drove to work, and then proceeded to STARVE. I don't mean "hey, I could go for a burger right now if you're up for one too" kind of hungry, I'm talking ravenous. I usually eat my first apple around 11am, since you for whatever reason are not supposed to eat in the morning on this...this....THING I am doing, but I absolutely devoured that sucker at 9:50am. My cube mate, H, probably thought I had eaten something like 500 calories yesterday and nothing since, to be that hungry. Wait......

Now I feel fine. But MAN I needed that apple. Even my delicious Jasmine Green Tea was making me feel nauseous. Hey! WHEN is that "I'M ONLY EATING ENOUGH FOR A 3 YEAR OLD OR A RUNWAY MODEL BUT SOMEHOW I'M MAGICALLY NOT HUNGRY" thing kick in!? huh?! HUH?!

Ok. Breathe. Patience. Actually, it's really not that bad. I'm just being dramatic. Hey, I'm a Sagittarius, it's what I do :] But I DID feel the wrath of whatever lord you worship within me not 40 minutes ago before I ate that apple.

Onto the stats!

Yesterday's exercise:
1 hour walk at 3.3 with 4.5 incline

Today on my plate is:
100g of lean, trimmed, steak
100g of chicken breast
2 apples
1 tomato
4 cups jasmine green tea

(didn't eat my 2nd veggie - just wasn't hungry)

Weight tracking:
-2lbs today
-2lbs change overall


Full of delicious organic apple and happiness and sunshine,
M