VLCD Day #11.5: I'll Never Recover

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round. Closer. A little bit closer... OK OK not that close, please, back off. There. 

I just had a near death experience. 

Please pause for a moment to let that sink in. 

There I was at work. Just having finished my delicious reheated chicken and onions that I made last night. My cell, er, I mean cube mate, H, let me use some delicious Poblano hot sauce that her boyfriend loves. 

It was delicious.

But that's not all. After eating said spicetastic meal, twas a tad thirsty. I thought, "Hey. I have already had 2 cups of green tea, and 2 cups of water. It's tea time again, I do believe." So off to my regular water cooler/heater I journey. Only to find it EMPTY. 

Panicking, I look around me. Lil' ole me of a small 5'1" stature does not stand a chance changing the giant Sparkletts water tank myself, and even if I could, the water would not have time to reach the near boiling temperature I needed in order to brew my tea of green. 

So then I was off. Off to the faaar far water cooler slash heater all the way in the community break room. It's not so bad, I can stand for a little walking. That also gives me a chance to stop for the 32nd over-hydration induced bathroom break of the day. 

I take care of my business. I continue on my way.

As I approach the break room, I start to smell the familiar aromas of day-old reheated fish, and bags of burnt popcorn. But there is something else in the air. Something much, much, more tantalizing. 

I creep up warily, not knowing what I will find. Driven by my desire for hot tea, I enter the break room.....and then

BAM! 

Literally THOUSANDS (read: tens) of slices of DELICIOUS LOOKING CAKE await me on the tables. There were CHOCOLATE (my favorite) and CARROT (my favorite) and WHITE (my favorite) hunks of cakey and icing-y goodness staring up at me, oh so innocently from the tables. So I ogle them back, breathing in their silky sweet aroma, feeling the pounds accumulate on my thighs as I inhale the calories. 

And then I did something truly, truly, earth shattering.

I walked right up to that table of answered prayers and I flipped those cakes off. Once! Twice! THREE TIMES!! And the last time I even added a big "UMPFH!"

I then refocused on my original antioxidant rich yet calorie-free goal, and sauntered right over to the water cooler/heater.

I had succeeded. 

Let this be a lesson to you all. I DO have willpower of steel. Which I get to exercise again tonight at girls night, which will be filled with wine and pizza. I will reign supreme. 

Leaper of Tall Buildings in a Single Bound,

M

(Ps. I thought it important to note: During that 48th bathroom break of the day, I noticed I had my panties on backwards and inside out. Yes, I re-oriented them.)